From the makers of GPS comes a new navigation system: GPS Lite. GPS Lite is the most innovative design in artificially intelligent navigation on the market today that operates exactly like a real human—and it’s even more annoyingly realistic than you think. You never asked for it but we sure as heck made it anyways!

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to get directions from that one friend who’s pretty confident they know where you’re going but “definitely could be a few blocks off?” Now you can experience the magic for yourself, thanks to GPS Lite. Our GPS might not know where you’re going, but it can probably figure it out.

Enjoy all the fun of getting lost with your friends, getting on the wrong train, or ending up at Phoenix airport, over 100 miles from your intended travel destination—all with none of the stress of actually getting to where you’re going.

Best of all, if GPS Lite can’t find your destination, a paper map will magically appear so you can just kind of read that instead! Squint to make sense of the fine print on the street signs while GPS Lite tells you a story about the guy from the bar she met last week—so fun! One reviewer writes, “GPS Lite is like the best friend you never had, and probably never wanted, but with a way more confusing sense of direction.” Sounds like a steal, honestly.

GPS Lite even mixes up right and left sometimes, which is totally relatable and definitely not a flaw in our extremely complicated computer system!

All new features include:

  • Course correcting software. GPS Lite has built-in re-routing technology that says stuff like, “I think it might've been back that way” or “Wait, let me pull up Google maps.” Is she right this time? Your guess is as good as ours!
  • Artificially intelligent conversation. GPS Lite desperately wants to be your friend, and that means that she’s sure to provide fun side conversation in between giving you what we’re legally not allowed to call “directions.” Trying to find Market Street? Shhhh! She’s on the phone with her mom talking about orthopedic sneaker prices!
  • All new voice settings. This summer GPS Lite took an acting class, and that means she’s ready to break out all of her new character voices! Our personal recommendation is the character “Gertrude,” an elderly, British flower shop owner with a dark secret: she was once an accessory to murder and now she won’t shut up about it! Watch as GPS Lite moves seamlessly between a lower-class English accent from the countryside and one of a posh Londoner.
  • Night Mode. Trying to get navigation help after 7PM? Wait as GPS Lite dozes in and out of a fitful night of sleep, never knowing if she’ll respond to you. The best part is, if you wake her up, she’s sure to still be in a semi-dream state where she thinks she’s in the Vietnam War!

Our patented technology guarantees all the banter of a good friend with all the human error of a real person with no sense of space and time. For a limited time only you can get yours for the low price of $4,500! So come on in today—if you can find our stores.

Keep exploring with GPS Lite: there’s always an unexpected surprise ahead.