1. Find a wounded puppy.

A good percentage of the female population loves puppies. It's genetic. And what woman wouldn't want a guy willing to take care of a wounded puppy?

Problems: If this turns into a long-term relationship, you'll have to keep the puppy. Consider this carefully. Not every girl is worth the trouble of a wounded puppy. Or even a regular puppy.

Bonus: Not all women love puppies. This may sound like a problem, but fear not. This is why it is important that the puppy be wounded. If you find that she hates dogs, just hint that you had something to do with the reason that the puppy only has three legs and one ear. Or at least laugh at it in her company. It could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.


2. Memorize the IMDb page for The Notebook.

The Notebook page screenshot from IMDb
This has blowjob written all over it. Well, I mean, except the title.
This is quicker, easier, and less painful than watching the actual movie. Between the quotes page and the trivia page, you'll be ready to sweep any girl off of her feet in fifteen minutes.

Problems: If you don't know how to handle a crying woman, this may not be the step for you. "If you're a bird, I'm a bird" is enough to send many a girl into hysterics. Also, you may be mistaken for a gay guy. Therefore, keep to the trivia and avoid trying to go above and beyond. It's not worth the risk. James Marsden's eyes may be deep and dreamy, but she may not want to know that you think so.

Bonus: If you find out that she actually likes reading, you can ask her if she read the book on which the movie is based. If she hasn't, you can recommend it. She doesn't need to know that you don't even know who wrote it. If she has read it, you probably don't have to say anything else. She just needs to think that you care.


3. Limp.

Not only will you make yourself noticeable without having to tuck in your shirt, but you also stand a very good chance of getting a girl to lean on. If you're injured, you can't be held accountable for where your hands go. You need support.

Problems: You may have a hard time limping convincingly. An easy solution is to simply hurt yourself. If you can do it without looking like an idiot, consider spraining your ankle in front of a girl or two. Pluck at those heartstrings, ‘cause there ain't no party like a pity party.

Bonus: Tender lovin' care.


4. Knock her down.

Girl falling down on the sidewalk in a pink dress
"Has anybody seen my phone? I have no idea where in mid-air I put it!"
This may sound like the opposite of what you should do, but think about it. At some point, every guy doesn't watch where he's going and he can't help but plow into a girl. But he doesn't have to go the extra mile to help her up. Sometimes, in order to be decent, you must first be a dick.

Problems: You might hurt her. Or get her dirty. Both of which are not good.

Bonus: Finally, plowing can lead to ploughing.


5. Be yourself.

Sometimes, all that a girl needs to see is a guy being true to himself.

Problems: You may just be kind of a terrible person. There is a reason why this tactic doesn't usually work for most guys.

Bonus: None, really. I recommend the first four suggestions. They're much more reliable.

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