Fifteen Best Films of the 2010s

Allow yourself to be swept up in the majesty of cinema with a review of the best movies of the 2010s. What gems of the silver screen await your rediscovery from this decade? There’s 2017’s Get Out, a story of race in the sense of skin color, not race in the sense of your race against the clock to make something of your life before the final bell tolls for you in your sad march to eternity.

And let us not forget the spectacle that was Mad Max: Fury Road, a thrilling action-adventure wherein two heroes speed through a desolate world more wasted than the opportunities you’ve let pass you by in the five years since that film was made. That’s right, it’s been five years as of 2020.

Feeling bad yet? Don’t! At least not until you take in 2013’s powerful and gripping 12 Years a Slave, a story you can increasingly relate to as of this decade’s passing as you’re another 10 Years a Waste of a Degree.

Thirty Best TV Series of the 2010s

Try to distract yourself from time’s relentless onrush with this listicle celebrating the best that television has had to offer. You should really enjoy this list, as so much of your frittered-away hours have been sunk into this entertainment abyss, not the least of which went to Breaking Bad.

Remember Breaking Bad? Sure you do. It’s the story of a man who takes a wrong path to get himself out of a bad situation, one which inevitably leads to his own Greek-tragic downfall. Take solace in the fact that you’ve never made a mistake like Walter White; but then, you’ve never had the courage to make any big decisions at all.

Maybe you can revisit Game of Thrones, a show you’re sure to enjoy rewatching as it reminds you that some endings are just disappointing, much like the ending you’re careening towards at an ever-accelerating clip.

If comedy is more your speed, this list has It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, in whose antics you may find some charm and escape before the episode ends and you’re confronted by your own mortal visage in the black mirror of the vacant television screen. The horror!

Eight Best Sports Moments of the 2010s

Who could forget the pummeling that was laid on Tom Brady and the Patriots in the first part of Super Bowl LI, only for him to come back as he is wont to do and claw his way to another ring for New England? That and all of your other greatest sports moments are recapped here, summarized with gusto by our team of crack sports analysts and armchair coaches, whose job of selecting the perfect GIF for representing a feat of human athleticism somehow earns them more than the measly income you’ve scraped by with over the previous ten years.

This decade was opened by an event no less momentous than The Decision, as Lebron James announced his fateful move to Miami, just as you announced at 2010’s onset that your music career would soon be taking off and you wouldn’t need this dead-end accounting job anymore. How’s that working for you?

Oh look, there’s a GIF of Lance Armstrong after he had his titles stripped from him. Let that be the consolation for you, the futility of accomplishment and fleeting pursuits of gold fabric.

Fifty Best Books of the 2010s

Uh-oh, might as well skip this listicle. We both know you didn’t read fifty books in the 2010s. Did you even finish fifty tasks in the 2010s? No reason to start now; reading would only further erode the few precious moments you’ve left to waste on this earth in which to make something of yourself.

Twenty-Five Biggest News Stories of the 2010s

Finally, a listicle you can actually take some solace in to observe the passing of another ten years and commemorate the termination of another fraction of your precious time. Take a wistful look back at the Deepwater Horizon Oil Spill from April 2010 and panic as you ruminate on how far our nation has failed to come. You’re not the only one going nowhere!

Trump’s 2016 election night is on here too. That event somehow doesn’t feel as far removed, more ever-present and dangling over our collective heads. Try not to think about the speed with which this decade came and departed as you read about the Haiti Earthquake. Definitely don’t contemplate your own finiteness as you shuffle through these GIFs of the royal wedding. You’re doing great.


And now a quick joke...

Tried to join a yoga class but even my schedule wasn’t flexible enough.