Teddy Bear in centerfield bleachers

Joins family for one baseball game a year in remembrance of his late father. Secretly does not care for the game.

Googly-eyed octopus behind catcher’s mound

Campaign manager for a commemorative Beanie Baby with a nascent political streak. He brought his new girlfriend to show off his seats. Disinterested in the game, he occupies his mind with bad polling news and a half-formed idea to manipulate voter turnout.

Caterpillar in Balcony 221, Row 16

Attends games regularly, but can’t help noticing his ex-lover Stuffed Lion in excellent seats with an octopus he thought he recognized. He feels slightly emasculated by the whole situation and wonders why he even goes to these stupid games. He stands up determined to tell off her new friend.

Yard flamingo standing at top of stairs behind catcher’s mound

Time travelling assassin from a future where the commemorative Beanie Baby’s State Senate victory sets off a chain of events culminating in nuclear armageddon. She moves swiftly towards her target. This archaic form of baseball does not interest her.

Oversized Detective Pikachu selling hot dogs in first row

Recently kicked off her intramural softball team for targeting batters with wild pitches. She sees the Yard Flamingo draw some kind of gun she doesn’t recognize and instinctively throws a roll of quarters at her head. The quarters connect, but just enough to stagger the Flamingo; the Pikachu notes this is the first time she’s cared about something happening in this stadium.

Stuffed Lion behind catcher’s mound

Local English teacher who accepted the googly-eyed octopus’ invitation. She has come to regret this as she learns more about him and his work. She knows his boss wants to defund public education. Commotion to her left grabs her attention and she turns to see she’s looking down the barrel of some alien weapon. Her last thought is that she secretly does not care for this game.

Small Teddy Bear in centerfield bleachers

Precocious little leaguer attending the game with his family. His father tells him to cover his eyes, but he witnesses the whole scene behind the plate. He sees that the googly-eyed octopus appears frozen in horror, but before the yard flamingo can take aim again she is tackled by the caterpillar. The yard flamingo scrambles to safety while the caterpillar continues attacking, not knowing he has damned us all. The small teddy starts to build an appreciation for the game of baseball.