Sleep-Talking Quotes

Lina: We need to take the soldiers to the hotel!
Kate: Lina, what are you talking about?
Lina: We need to take them to the hotel, to the pool!!
-Lina, sleep-talking the needs of our military

Ryan: Yo, will you get out of bed if I light your bed sheets on fire?
Ahmed: Dude, I got an interview in the morning. Just bring it tomorrow.
-Ahmed, sleep-talking

Breanna: Erika, what are you doing?
Erika (sleep-talking): I'm pressing these.
(Erika grabs her phone and starts pressing random buttons)
Breanna: What?
Erika (annoyed): I'm pushing pencils!
-On old school sleep patterns

Tiff: Your hand is like a peach.
Mike: A peach? Why a peach?
Tiff: I don't know, talk to the hand.
-Tiff, talking to Mike in her sleep

"Girls with big are good, girls with small tits are bad."
-Mike, sleep-talking

"I don't like it when the dogs hump my leg. Why do the dogs always hump my leg and try to pull me down? They must be hungry."
-Ryan, sleep-talking

"Anything with a Thermos will not stop."
-Ryan, sleep-talking after a night of drinking

"How do you pick up a chicken by grabbing it?"
-Aaron, sleep-pondering the REAL questions

Paige: Erika, Can I borrow your shorts?
Erika (sleep-talking): What? ...Oh I don't think I can make you a discount.
Paige: What I just want to borrow your basketball shorts!
Erika (sleep-talking): Wait..wait..wait..wait..wait... (sits up in dog position and wipes feet like a dog having to go to the bathroom) We're good... we're good... we're good!
Paige: Hahahahah, what?? Erika! Let me borrow your shorts please!
Erika (sleep-talking): Ohhh okay you can.

"Mmmmmmm. Boston's kids? (sits up and looks under blanket) Ohhhh. (goes back to sleep)"
-Meghan, searching for confirmation in her sleep

Meghan (sleeping): What rezzy mezzy dezzy muzzy mazzy dazzy mezzy bezzy.
(Danna sits up and Meghan is looking straight at her)
Meghan: What movies allowed until today? What movies allowed until today?
Danna: Uhhh. I don't know...
Meghan: What movies allowed until today? (turns over and falls back asleep)
-On unreleased classics

Aaron: Joe, what the fuck are you doing?
Joey: I'm pissin' man.
Aaron: Why are you pissin' in the middle of the room?
Joey: 'Cause we're in San Diego man!
-Sleep-peeing in the middle of his ex's dorm room

Sharon (asleep): DRIVE, Karlee, DRIVE! There are gummy bears in the back seat!
Shikkira (asleep): Welcome line.
Nicola (asleep, mumbling): Karlee, stop eating my socks.
-On three very creative sleepers

"Silly Goose, stop eating all the cornflakes. GAHHHH NO, NOT THE CRUMBLE CAR! THAT'S FOR WALDO!"
-Emily, sleep-talking

River: Hey, focus on my wife's hoohoo.
Mark: Dude, why are you up at 3 a.m.?
River (asleep): GOTTA GO TO BED!!! GOTTA GO TO BED!!! GOTTA GO TO BED!!!!
-On sleeping beauty