Sleep-Talking Quotes

Britt: Hey, wake up, I brought you breakfast!
John (sleeping): There is no time for breakfast, I need you to help me recruit more people for the fellowship.
-After playing the MMORPG "Asheron's Call" all night long

Aaron: Jessie, there's no more sand on the beach!
Jessie: (sleeping) What?
Aaron: Yeah, no more sand. Do you know anything about that?
Jessie: I put it in the closet.
Aaron: Why did you do that?
Jessie: It hurt my feet and it was too dry.
-Aaron, talking to his sleeping roommate about modern beach problems

Mike: Is it good Keesh?
Keesh: (sleeping) ...yeah...
Mike: Keesh is it good?
Keesh: ...Yessss!
Mike: Can I have a kiss?
Keesh: No.
Mike: Can I give you a kiss?
Keesh: ....No!
Mike: Why not?
Keesh: ...sooo gaaaay...
-On slumbering roommate encounters

N: What's up?
C: (asleep) I like tomatoes and bagels.
N: What?
C: (still asleep) Baby lober.
-On hungry sleep-talking

Cole: Brian, you're going to miss the bus.
Brian: What are you talking about?
Cole: THE BUS! THE BUS!
Brian: We're in college, Cole. We only ride the drunk bus now.
Cole: I'm going to kill you....HAHAHA!
-Cole, sitting up in bed sleep-talking

A'Lyse: (asleep) Ow stop it, stop it!
Zac: Hey what's wrong, are you having a nightmare?!
A'Lyse: (still asleep) No, there is a taco in my butt.
-Well if she already thinks there's something in there...

Ian: Don't steal my pillow!
Justin: Ian, I'm stealing your pillow.
Ian: NO!
Justin: Yes.
Ian: NOOOOO!!!
Justin: Yes.
Ian: *snore*
-On the irrelevance of arguing with sleeping roommates

Maria (trying to wake Samuel up): C'mon let's go upstairs.
Samuel (still asleep): I'm the inventor!!
Maria: WHAT??
-And you thought YOU came up with "going upstairs"

Jessica: So Amy, what are you dreaming about?
Amy: I don't know, I'll tell you when I'm finished.
-Amy, sleep-talking to her friend with surprising effectiveness

Beth (still asleep): Did you get anything?
Alex: What?
Beth: What? I just thought you were ordering food.
-10 minutes later, still paranoid

Beth (asleep): Did you rent a car?
Alex: Why would I rent a car, Beth?
Beth: I don't know, I just thought you were renting one.
-Almost done with a summer internship at Enterprise

"It's not my fault it's 12 inches!"
-Benji, talking in his (deep) sleep

Katie W: But you just pulled off two layers of blanket... out of four!
Katie K: The bottom one doesn't count; it's a sheet.
Katie W: Fine! Out of two!
-Somewhat rudely awakened

"Now is the time for the molestation of the puppy! Wait, no, 'BY'! I meant, 'by'! Now is the time for the molestation BY the puppy! Fuck you, I'm still asleep."
-Zach, trying to convince his girlfriend that he doesn't LIKE-like the dog, as he is awakened by the frantic licks of an overeager puppy