Clearing Out My Brain’s Hard Drive to Remember Whatshisname
High school locker combination [-1.2 MB] I deleted my entire high school experience in 2016. Missed this somehow. Move to trash.
Tag: Tech
You’re Just Twelve Clicks Away from Finding Out Why Those Air-Raid Sirens Are Going Off
Now would be a good time to use the restroom. You should also gather your family and pets and turn off any stove burners.
Could You Be a ReCAPTCHA Photographer?
Responsibilities: - Operate a Nikon “Coolpix” digital camera from 2009 - Set up and execute photoshoots from the back of a speeding moped
FAQ: Your Aunt’s Second Facebook Profile
I always misplace the Post-it where you jotted down my password, leading me to wildly click around until something happens.
Instagram Is Permanently Banning Your Account Due to Bad Vibes
We realize it’s atypical to ban someone who hasn’t violated our Terms of Service, we strongly believe that your personality and general vibe justify an exception.
These Babysitters Club Members Do Not Exist
Fennel: The least soluble kid in her grade. A boss baby who doesn’t care about boys or cornbread.
A Guide to Strong and Weak Passwords from Someone Who Definitely Didn’t Murder Her Husband
Don’t use the names of people you know, such as your husband---whose disappearance 12 years ago was a tragic accident you’re still really sad about.
Words That Mean Totally Different Things on Craigslist Apartment Ads
"Cozy" -- The smallest possible apartment we could legally claim is inhabitable.
A Personal Email from Netflix: We Are Suspending Your Streaming Access to “Gilmore Girls,” Effective Immediately
A Gilmore Girls Crisis Intervention Special Projects Team performed a full investigative report of your viewing history and internet browser history.
Kickstarter Update #37 – Our 3D Printed Water Bottles and Co-founder Are Being Held Hostage by Pirates
From what Eric told me before his cell phone cut out, these bottles are entirely worth the extra eight months of R&D.
If You Wish to Print a Document, You Must Pass These Six Trials
You pray the gods will soon fill your hands with a warm United States Passport Application. Oho! It is not so simple.
Release Notes for Eternal Damnation Version 2021.666
New arrivals to Limbo will receive brand-new iPhones that only show Instagram posts from people who have ascended to Heaven.