Alternative Career Paths for Superheroes with Newly Discovered Wealth
Superman, now able to construct luxury buildings in a single bound, becomes the most powerful contributor to Metropolis’s rampant gentrification.
Tag: Superheroes
Update to the Henchman Health and Benefits Plan
Gold Plus-tier now has copay-free pharmaceuticals to treat any gases or poisons accidentally released from the many easily accessible air vents.
While “Saving the World” Is a Nice Hobby, Don’t You Think It’s Time to Consider Graduate School, Superman?
Aren’t you tired of people mistaking you for a bird or a plane? With some higher education, they could recognize you as a local community leader.
I, Zippy the Jetpack Boy, Have Been Hired to Fix Your Subway System!
No one knows more about getting from point A to point B with lethal efficiency than Zippy the Jetpack Boy -- that this is bound to rub off on the job.
Behold! I am Deciden, King of the Indecisive Friend Group
I separate emotion from logic and wield my mighty Trident of Critical Thinking, which is a normal trident that I use to emphasize my pronouncements.
Confessions of Clark: Excerpts from the Diary of a Middle-Aged Superman
Lois has been distant ever since we found out my sperm could kill her. She keeps making snide comments about how Batman wouldn't have this problem.
We Should Hear Thanos Out
Imagine: Taco Bell Cantinas, free of the pressure to appeal to a burgeoning youth market, would once more become—simply—Taco Bells.
Having Never Seen a Marvel Movie, We Predict the End of “Avengers: Endgame”
The Avengers discover that “Thanos” was actually an illicit health-technology scheme run by Iron Man’s ex-girlfriend, Elizabeth Holmes.
The Orb in the Woods Kids
The orb seemed pretty observant, too, so no doubt everyone’s unique powers would shed new light on their natural strengths and underlying weaknesses.
Superheroes in the Millennial Legion
As Acai City’s newest hero, Millennial Girl is committed to protecting and serving all citizens born between 1981 and 1998.
Dear Batman: Please Park Legally
Sarah: "I walked into my greenhouse and found a large tank parked on the roof. No light could get in and all my plants died. I lost my business."
Don’t Expect Many Characters to Survive “Mamma Mia! 2: Infinity Wedding”
Sophie was able to hold one of the Infinity Rings--wedding rings forged from the six singularities present before the creation of the universe.