I Am the Job Applicant Who Got Hired Over You
I meet all the requirements for the job, most of which are not listed in the job posting.
Tag: Satire
We at Strava See You, Gwen
They gasp at how you ran for an hour and twenty six minutes at 6:14 P.M. on Tuesday. “She didn’t take any breaks?” they exclaim.
I’m the Previous Tenant of Your Apartment and I’ve Left This “Junk” Behind for a Reason
You'll notice there's just one light bulb in this 3-pack of light bulbs. That's the point. Ask yourself: Do you see two missing, or one remaining?
No, Son, Rash’kar’lagratar Isn’t the Magic Word
No, son. That is magic as speaking it will hurl back any unclean shades which try to approach you.
An Introduction to Cubicles & Corporations: The Tabletop Role-Playing Game Your Dungeons & Dragons Characters Play
How will you endure the ancient ritual of the Office Birthday—standing motionless while colleagues sing at you and maintain eye contact?
NASA Contingency Plan: In the Event an Artemis II Astronaut Is a Werewolf
NASA is almost certain that none of you are werewolves. However, to ensure the safety of our new lunar missions, we must consider every eventuality.
Schrödinger’s FOMO
If you do go out, you’ll immediately start thinking about when you can leave. If you don’t go out, you’ll immediately start wishing you had.
I Have to Fire Our Project Manager on the Same Day He Brought His Dog Into the Office
Who’s a good boy? Who’s a precious lil pup? Yes you are! Yes you are! Hmm, oh, yes, Mark, hello. Sorry, I was just saying hi to your dog Pepper.
Oh Boy, My Favorite Celebrity Is on a Humiliation Ritual Press Tour
Call me desensitized, but the only thing that really keeps me tapped in for My Favorite Celebrity is to see them risk it all—day after day, for months on end.
It’s Possible Jay Gatsby Is Abusing GoFundMe
I urgently need your help after my latest extravagant shindig has left my estate in shambles. Look here, old sports.
What Your AI Jargon Says About You
"Existential Risk": You testified before Congress that this technology could end humanity. You also had a product launch that Thursday and it went great.
Automated Texts I’ll Receive on My Deathbed
A Nebraskan tire center I used once on a road trip seven years ago: We’re feeling a little deflated today, and wheel miss you as a valued customer.