An Interview with World War III
WW3: Climate change is getting a lot of heat right now. Pun intended! But no, we're not direct competitors.
Tag: Satire
How to Photoshop Yourself Dummy Thicc with Bob Ross
Wow. If you’ve photoshopped with me before, you know I like big ol’ tushies. And, there he is. That’s a big ol’ tush.
Cancelling Teddy Roosevelt’s Elementary School Gym Class
It's just that you've brought too much of that raw, "I survived a war where they still used horses" spirit to your position here.
I’m the Tennis Ball Attached to an Old Man’s Walker
At the very least, I thought I’d live out my days being volleyed over some net in a park by people who considered themselves moderate exercisers.
It’s Hard Being a Barbarian Hero in Downtown Manhattan
“Your plight reached me on LinkedIn: the posting spoke of your lamentation, of your need for a Client Data and Management Information Co-Ordinator!”
Just Thought We Should Catch Up! And Maybe See if You’re Satisfied with Your Current Financial Advisor
Been married a couple of times---but don't worry, I'm a free man again! And I guess the main thing is that I started working at Odysseus Financial.
The Simple and Effective No Cookies or Wine Diet
The only exception to the wine rule is for post-work networking drinks. You don’t want to make the other person feel bad about drinking wine!
Do You Have the Cognitive Fortitude to Be a Cashier at Crazy Dave’s Wieners?
What is the correct spelling of the fermented cabbage that sometimes goes on hotdogs? Sauerkraut, Sourcrowt, Serrkreet, Soorkroot, or Kimchi?
I’m Your Winter Cough and I’m Tired of Playing Second Fiddle to That Asshat Sneeze
Sneeze gets his own salutation but what do I get? Nada. Someone sneezes and everyone pulls a muscle trying to be the first to offer a “God bless you.”
I Am a Character in a Dystopian Novel, and I Think Your World Kind of Sucks
To be fair, at least you know your “vote” counts as much as everyone else’s, whereas in our system---Wait, the electoral what?!
An Appeal to the Committee’s Ruling That Candy Is Not a Breakfast Food
I was never properly notified of the existence (and have yet to receive a copy) of the complete list of the committee-approved breakfast foods.
I’m a Crosley Record Player
Every day that my knob is turned, I wheeze, I cough, calling out for help, but they can’t hear me scream over their thrifted Bob Dylan record.