Santa, Please Turn All My Useless Christmas Presents into Gift Cards without My Loved Ones Noticing
My mom mailed me back my matching pajama set with a note, “Don’t bother wearing our family Christmas pajamas unless you ask for something fun."
Tag: Satire
I Caught My Husband Crying While Cutting Onions. That’s Why I’m Leaving Him
The man who I had married, the man who I’d seen get into a shoving match with a JV baseball coach, had become something unrecognizable.
Does This Crippling Existential Dread Make Me Look Fat?
This thing we call "life" is really just a painfully drawn out, cosmic joke. And I can’t tell if that’s what’s causing the bulge around my waistline.
The Church Announces Changes to Try and Get Young People to Attend Mass
To help bring in the younger audience, the flock is now allowed to respond to “The Lord be with you” with “OK boomer.”
Dear Families That Share Holiday Letters
I noticed that you already posted those vacation photos online, but the evidence of just how wealthy your family is magneted to my fridge is a treat!
This Year’s Agency Holiday Party Theme: Transparency!
We’ve got a bunch of food, drinks, and activities lined up that will shed an honest light on a lot of stuff you actually probably suspected already.
I Got Dumped for Having No Personality Even Though She Hadn’t Read All My T-Shirts
And what about that day I wore my ORGASM DONOR t-shirt and kept asking everyone in her family if they wanted to find out if they were a match?
It’s That Time of Year Again When My Seasonal Affective Disorder Kicks in and I Transform into Glargor the Cave Troll
Like Bruce Banner turns into The Hulk when he gets angry, I turn into Glargor whenever the concentration of Vitamin D in my blood dips below 15 ng/ml.
Hold the Phone, Wife and Husband Are Also Best Friends?!
Spending the night with your wife is now HAVING A SLEEPOVER WITH YOUR BESTIE. Dinner dates are now EATING WINGS WHILE YOU GOSSIP ABOUT NON-BESTIES.
You Forgot the Anniversary of the Boston Tea Party, Didn’t You?
Next you’re going to tell me that you don’t remember William Molineux organizing prominent Whig meetups at the Old South Meeting House.
A Look into My Fiverr Request History
I am overwhelmed with reports I have to finish, so I need someone smart to finish them, but not smart enough that my boss knows it’s not from me.
“30 Under 30” Who Are Doing Just Okay
Darren McCoy, 28, Class of 2013, Has an 8-Year-Old Batman Spec Script No One Has Read.