Editors’ Picks | Page 17

Tag: Editors’ Picks

Depending on how gross the thought is, I’ll either do a full “tut tut” or just a simple tongue cluck. It’s an art, really.

Pop open a bottle today. It’s guaranteed to take your mind off the waterspout that’s currently ripping the roof off your neighbor’s house.

Looking back, I can see it was I, not yo momma, who is so dumb that I stood on a chair to raise my IQ.

I mean, who wouldn’t want to be in charge of spreading a bit of autumnal spirit throughout the organization?

I appreciate the new possibilities social media has created, but I worry about what they’re missing out on.

Did we go to college together? No, I went to Penn State. High school? No, I’m from New York. Middle School? No, I never graduated.

Because at VERMO Liquid Ant Baits, we don’t sell insecticide. We sell experiences.

We don't even know him, what if this kickass party goes to waste because your baby ends up being a loser or something?

You think you know a person and then they run off with 29 of your closest friends to do a smash-and-grab.

Fool me three times, there’s a little bit of shame to go around here. Admittedly, maybe I should have caught on to your character by now.

Max acknowledges that you are now an out lesbian with a live-in girlfriend and three dogs so he has suggested the following addendums.

Imagine him chasing after a ping pong ball. Imagine him eating a banana horizontally, à la corn on the cob.