Office | Page 4 | Points in Case

Tag: Office

Good. Don’t click the link. Now, a wild badger climbs through the break room window and makes a beeline for your unguarded computer.

It’s just not something we care to do, because of our uncontrollable desire to own all of the boats and all of the cocaine.

Our previous policy of zero in-office hawk attacks has been slightly adjusted to a new policy of many hawk attacks.

As you know, I have just spent the holiday season visiting family in my hometown, Fir Tree Falls.

There are two things that all employers love to hear about: high quarterly profits and hidden treasure.

Don’t get me wrong—on paper, you had pretty much everything we were looking for. But your experience was not at our company, in this exact position.

I mean, your boyfriend just seems like one of those guys who would step out on you, know what I mean?

I myself voraciously advocated for firings to appease investors after guaranteeing that quarterly revenue would increase by “infinity” dollars.

We may be a lab in a haunted castle, but we still have rules.

I feel like I know you. The surveillance software used to monitor your workflow has been telling me what a great person you are.

Intermittently mention “The Kremlin.” Smart people discuss this often.

The Desert Escape: Run into the desert. There, you’ll meet a snake. Name the snake. Name him Benjamin. Benjamin will bite you, but don’t cry out.