We’d Love to Pay You More, But We’d Rather Spend It on Boats and Cocaine
It’s just not something we care to do, because of our uncontrollable desire to own all of the boats and all of the cocaine.
Tag: Money
So You Moved to Europe and Call Yourself an Expat Now
The Trust Fund: You wanted to move to Ibiza but needed a job since your father expects you to take over the family business; you settle for Madrid.
Updates to Your Employee Benefits Package
Our previous policy of zero in-office hawk attacks has been slightly adjusted to a new policy of many hawk attacks.
Tax Form or Droid from Star Wars?
1099-K, BB-8, WA-7, W-9?
A Quick Note About My Book Deal
I blew my advance on a fully-loaded Bugatti Veyron Linea Viviere (MSRP $2.3 million), as well as a series of bespoke leather shirts.
Hello, I’m Lord Byron Castleface, of the Castleface Castlefaces
Now now, no need to be polite or offer to kiss my golden socks at all. I don’t like sycophants.
Line a Plucky Supporting Character Might Say in a ’90s Movie About an Underdog Sports Team, or Lottery Slogan?
You can’t win if you don’t play. Don’t let the big one get away!
What the New Netflix Plans Will Get You
$9.99/month: Standard package for those living standard lives. Those living substandard lives will be overwhelmed.
Sure, the Metaverse Is the Future, but Have You Heard About the Bubba Gump Shrimp Company?
You’re here to risk it all on totally digital experiences without a shred of realistic worth, and I’m talking about shrimp.
We Are Unceremoniously Laying Off a Big-Ass Chunk of the Company
I myself voraciously advocated for firings to appease investors after guaranteeing that quarterly revenue would increase by “infinity” dollars.
Press the Star Key at Any Time for a Complete List of Absolutely Everything You Can Expect Us to Do for You Lazy Bastards
To hear this litany of passive-aggressive disgust in English, press one.
It’s So Hard to Break Out with an Independent Podcast That’s Just 45 Minutes of Dolphin Noises These Days
How can an outsider podcast hope to find an audience for its maritime squeaks, squawks, and screeches in such a crowded industry?