Let Me Tell You About My Very Profitable, Benevolent Brand
And before you get skeptical or overthink our business model, this is NOT slave labor repackaged as a benevolent good.
Tag: Clothes
We’re Your Bras and We Know You’ll Come Back
For unmentionables, you sure talk about us a lot. You’ve got boobs on the brain, and that’s why we’re not worried. We know you’ll come back.
Definitely My Quarantine Morning Routine
I definitely don’t lay in bed motionless, hovering between sleep and wakefulness, until finally my hungry cat comes and scream-meows in my face.
Wines to Pair with Your Favorite Women’s Target Brands
The red-berry notes that also resemble a boiled mushroom in your choice Pinot are a perfect match for any outfit from this inclusive Tarjay brand.
Well, I Guess You’ll Have to Wait Until Next Year to See My New Collection of Springtime Hats
If it were any other June, I too would be playing squash and basking in the sun’s rays, but this year is different.
’90s HR Video Sexual Harasser or My Mom?
You have such nice legs. I’m glad you’re finally wearing something that shows them off. / You didn’t even notice my new slacks. Do you like them?
Quarantine Sweatpants or Amazon Warehouse Worker?
Stretched to cover more area by upper management / Watches boss make the same mistakes day in and day out / Owned by Jeff Bezos
Father, Why Hath Thou Forsaken Me, the Sock at the Back of the Drawer?
You refuse to wear me because of my stale odor but you refuse to wash me for I have not been worn! This chaotic torment tears my mind asunder!
The Five Stages of Grief for When You’ve Found a Magical Pot of Gold, But Keeping It Means Being Relentlessly Hunted by a Wee Murderous Irishman
DENIAL: Maybe this isn’t even a legitimate cursed pot of money. ANGER: But--fairy fortunes don’t usually come with a blood curse!
A Letter of Appreciation for “One Headlight” by the Wallflowers
People will call you a monster, and in a way, they’ll be correct: you are a monster---a monster fucking hit.
Stranded on a Tropical Island with My Goop Healing Circle
The food that Goop gave us is almost gone, but we’re not too worried since most of us had planned to reset with cleansing fasts upon our return home.
I’m a Serial Killer and Burberry Just Discontinued My Signature Strangling Scarf
With so many murders happening each year, it’s extremely difficult to develop and sustain a calling card that’s distinct.