Animals | Page 15 | Points in Case

Tag: Animals

Ponder morbidly whether the great stuffed beasts of plains and forest were found dead or shot purely for taxidermic purposes.

The way I'm held when I'm hoisted in the air sort of digs into my ribs. I'd be interested in exploring some other hoisting techniques.

Lower self entirely to ground. Pick cute dog up overhead (regardless of size). Exclaim over cute dog’s cuteness. Take 3 to 25 pictures of cute dog.

Good news… feral pigs are now in 39 states. Thank you, climate change! You spoil us with this superabundance of invasive swines.

A week ago, my girlfriend left me for a flying fish. You know, the kind with the little wings that glide, the kind you hear about.

You name it, I’ve been through it. Casual flings. True love. Nits. Pink eye. And I’ve been a truthteller and a trendsetter through it all.

If you and your partner are weighing the options of starting a family, consider incorporating your offspring as Limited Liability Children.

ka-ha-ka-ha kuk-kuk-KUK | Translation: I’ve got nothing against European starlings. They should just go back where they belong.

An orange squid has entered my dreams, watching me practice my ascending spin and barrel sculls with languid disinterest. I cannot banish him.

"I don’t have any fancy degrees. I’ve never read Murakami. I’ve never read anything, actually. I can’t speak English and I’ve bitten people."

I know this is sugarcoated for the sake of elementary school curriculums but caterpillars do not transform into butterflies. They die in there.

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