Animals | Page 17 | Points in Case

Tag: Animals

Sure, I may never be able to play piano, but who else in my apartment building could have taken care of our rat infestation that quickly?

Rule 3. There are no limits to the number of people in a fight. The nature of our discussion board means that 15-100 people will typically join in.

Not many people know this, but my bees once stung the hell out of Mario Cuomo. That’s right, this horde of insects is a part of New York history.

If you cannot make it home to your reinforced "Doom Room", attempt to run toward the nearest forest or wooded area.

Taurus: The Seneca Park Zoo believes they don’t need a sign telling people not to swim in the polar bear enclosure. You will prove them wrong.

If you don’t keep the dead dogs in the freezer, Doctor Snuggles will devour all the dogs in one sitting. He's a huge pig. Aren’t you my little pig?

How is communicating in sign language, walking on sand trails, or keeping your children in soundproof rooms, really that different from recycling?

I know I certainly didn't fight my way through twelve miles of wilderness with no face to allow big government to turn all of our kids autistic.

In the event of a water landing, beneath your seat is a compartment that contains a credit card application in a waterproof pouch.

I am the only one with fingers, so I have the job of breaking sticks in two and putting them in a pile. I have also been designated a “performer.”

You're always freelancing from home, which means your cat has to watch you and dart away when you notice. So there goes her whole day.

Look in vain for a menu, it is torn and stained with tears. There are no specials, ever, only monotonous offerings of tasteless food.