10. None
9. Not a One
8. Nope
7. Not That One
6. Or This One Either
5. Worth a Shot, But No
4. Not The One In a Box
3. Not Even the One for Fox
2. There Are No Jobs Like This
1. Quantum Physicist Able to Bend Time Back Onto Itself
More Humor
Are You an Adult Only Child Still Living at Home, or a House Cat?
Visitors can tell which piece of furniture is your favorite just by looking at what has the most stains.
A Categorical Ranking of Dogs
Gamer Dogs: Dogs playing poker / Dogs cheating at poker / The puppies in the Puppy Bowl
I’m the Safety Tag on a Baby Product and, Yeah, I’m Going to Kill Your Baby
CAUTION: I’ve killed before and I’ll kill again. You’re probably thinking: “Why would a soft, soft teddy bear kill a baby?"