1. French Fries

A tried and true classic. The next rung up on the ladder of sides, if you will… or if you won’t.

2. Cole Slaw

The “It’s the thought that counts” of sides.

3. Mac and Please

Macaroni with manners. How fulfilling!

4. A Phone Charger

“Nourish thine phone and ye shall nourish thine soul.” Neitzsche said that.

5. The Owner’s Netflix Login

This is mutual aid at its core.

6. Eye Contact and a Firm Handshake

A really good option for restaurants in business districts.

7. A Strong Father Figure

Give your customers what they can’t find at home.

8. A Pre-Regearsed Rap Battle Where the Customer Always Wins

The customer is always right? More like the customer always has bars.

9. An Inside Look Into the Lives of the Pennsylvania Dutch

Nothing more filling than a sandwich with a side of a cultural group formed through those who emigrated primarily from the territory in Europe now partly within modern-day Germany.

10. A Signed Headshot of Lon Cheney

In lieu of number seven.

11. A Moderated Discussion on the Cinematic and Cultural Impacts of Citizen Kane

Food for Thought? How about thought for food?

12. Honestly, Just a Bag of Chocolate Chips

“That’s just another bag of chips.” Yeah, CHOCOLATE chips.