1. Three seconds in and you’re already uncomfortable with the glut of dingy whiteness.
  2. It’s not overpowering but you keep detecting a distinct wisp of foot smell.
  3. By far the most popular style: crew cut.
  4. You never imagined that one place could contain so many worn-out heels.
  5. As far as the eye can see, no black or brown ones.
  6. The only remaining value these things might have is maintaining warmth, even though the thought of touching them is revolting.
  7. Hippies want nothing to do with any of this.
  8. Oh, hey, there are a couple of black and brown ones.
  9. None of these things realize how easily they can be made into weird-ass puppets.
  10. At first, you’re surprised. But once you see more you realize that, OK, maybe this isn’t such a strange place to find a necktie.
  11. Everything’s going to hell in a blink if anybody brings a torch.
  12. None of these things have an undergraduate-level vocabulary or even a slight grasp of the benefits of immigration.
  13. Actually, a couple of these things already are weird-ass puppets.
  14. Wait, you’re pretty sure that one over there is a cop.
  15. Crazy as it seems, there actually are people who fuck these things.
  16. The air is thick with apprehension about the prospect of getting into the water with non-whites.
  17. If you know where to look on some of these, you can find some disturbing blood and soil marks.
  18. Usually, you’re not OK with this, but after seeing these things up close you start to think maybe it’s best just to let your dog bury one next time he gets ahold of it.

14: Alt-right rally
8: Sock drawer
1-7; 9-13; 15-18: Both