>>> The Rollercoaster of Drama
By staff writer Simonne Cullen
December 7, 2003

Every single time I talk to my mom she tops off the conversation with something like, “Well enjoy your time Monie because in the real world life won't be that easy.” Does she truly believe that college life is easy? I think she does. Only because when I go home for the summer she sees all my photos of me dressed up having fun or hears crazy stories of my youth and not photos of me strung out at the library during finals week or listening to in-depth analyses of prehistoric stegosaurus urine. Eventually she thought I was having so much fun that Mommy ATM stopped spitting out crisp twenties to affect my seemingly “out of control social life.”

Most students I know have parents who give them a substantial amount of money fall term to help them out during the course of the school year, but it's never enough. So while some of us get a head start on living like starving artists, the brave will enter the real world and find part time jobs. And since it's so close to the holiday I figured it was appropriate.

The best part time job anyone could have while they are in college is bartending. Think about it, you're surrounded by booze, you make a small fortune in tips, and every cute guy or chick that walks in eventually has to talk to you. And you get an education: wines don't just come from grapes, there are differences between light and dark beer, and I'm no economics major, but if I had to tell you which stock to invest in I'd put all my money on Budweiser and Miller products. These companies will never go bankrupt.

I began bartending at the beginning of my sophomore year. Getting the job wasn't as hard as my parents suggested it would be. I showed up, filled out the application, and when my boss saw that I had zero bartending experience I got hired on the spot. While I'd like to believe that I won them over with the dazzling personality portion of the interview I'm more convinced my boobs gave me the edge over the other potential candidates named, Nick, John, Rich, and Pete.

My parents weren't happy that I was walking home alone from work at three o'clock in the morning on the weekends, but I didn't see them hit up any car dealerships to remedy their deep concerns for my safety either.

Some ultra-feminists turn their noses up at the idea of women bartending. These crazies think that looking pretty as a female bartender puts you right up there with strippers. Listen ladies, none of us are taking off our clothes, and one Saturday night's work pays for our books for the term. Talk to me in four weeks when you made the same amount shelving books at the library.

One last thing: If there's bar located on your campus don't work there. You may get to be with your friends, but they'll all expect free drinks out of you and last time I checked all my friends were as poor as I am, so chances are their tipping with rival that of scrooge's.