As some of you may be aware, killer bees, also known as Africanized Honey bees, have been proliferating and moving north since their emancipation from colonies in Brazil several decades ago. There is understandable panic at the prospect of these large, aggressive noisy insects supplanting the more docile, and slighter-of-build European honey bees to which we are accustomed.  But since the progress of Africanized bees is inevitable, I suggest we familiarize ourselves with this variety of insect.

By way of background, European honey bees arrived in the New World several centuries ago, finding a pristine environment abounding in flowers of all types. For many years they enjoyed a quiet existence, reading poetry, listening to classical music, and purchasing cars of Scandinavian make.

The European honey bee was a diligent if modest worker. Bees would often return to the hive after a misadventure, sporting a sprained ankle, blisters on the legs, or just a case of allergies.

In response to the frailties of the European stock, apiaries in Brazil began forcibly importing bees from Africa.  The main port of departure seems to have been the Gold Coast, where ships laden with their insect cargo endured a long and treacherous voyage to the coast of South America.

Once acclimated to the Brazilian environment, these African bees proved more robust and capable workers than their European counterparts.

Male African bees attracted the attention of female European honey bees through their rhythmic, sexual dancing, ostentatious jewelry, and patent toughness. Many a European bee was cuckholded by his darker, larger, and better-endowed African competitor.

Soon Africanized bees were widespread across South America, and had even begun to expand into Mexican territory. After years of virtual slavery in Brazilian hives, an intrepid few colonies had liberated themselves, and their progeny was spreading faster than anyone would have thought.

The Africanized honey bee is a hybrid between the African and European variety. However, the African elements appear to predominate. Africanized bees are able to dance in a tribal, uninhibited fashion that has been known to embarrass bees of purely European extraction. Africanized bees are quicker to pull a stinger in a confrontation, and quicker too to use it. Entire areas of the southern United States are now home to these Africanized bees, while European colonies have fled to seek safer environs in the suburbs.

What does the future hold for European bees in the United States? By all indications, the proportion of Africanized bees will continue to expand. In large part, these is due to the predilection of female European bees for Africanized mates, who are, by all accounts, more satisfying lovers.  European honey bees continue to cling to enclaves in the northeast and Rocky Mountain states.

But it could be just a matter of time before all bees dance to the beat of a conga drummer.

Follow Points in Case on Twitter.

Join The Second City writing classes on satire, sketch, and TV - 10% off with code PIC.

Check out events at The Satire and Humor Festival in NYC March 22-24.