Party Tow Truck decorated with Christmas lightsThey already have the Party Bus for group weekend nights out, I think it's only natural that someone branch out to the Party Tow Truck now. Anyone who calls a tow truck must be in a shitty mood because their car just broke down, what better way to cheer them up than bringing automotive help AND a party?!

Here's how it works:

  1. You fuck up your car.
  2. You scream obscenities to try to get it working again, followed by any number of "kick the car" sports betting that it will start again, at least before you break a toe.
  3. Car still won't start.
  4. You call AAA.
  5. Oops, you didn't realize AAA requires a paid membership.
  6. You call the Party Tow Truck.
  7. Party Tow Truck arrives, hands you a shot and a beer, and tells you to relax and enjoy the disco lights, fur seats, house music, and strippers (additional charge).
  8. Rinse with more shots/beer and repeat.
  9. Party Tow Truck tows your drunk ass and your crippled pavement machine to the Party Tow Truck Club (open 24 hours).
  10. You mix and mingle with other drunk, stranded singles (plenty of women!) while techno music drowns out the sound of mechanics fucking up your car even more.
  11. Party Tow Truck Club bouncers kick you out promptly after two hours because you're "too drunk" and send you home in a cab.
  12. Party Tow Truck Club uses the tab you forgot to close to charge you for all drinks, repairs, and lap dances (optional), plus 20% gratuity.
  13. You pick up your car the next day, too embarrassed to argue the charges with a manager. Besides, you don't remember exactly what happened last night.
  14. You show up the next day at AA (it's free).

Party Tow Truck: "You're rollin' VIP now!"

Join upcoming comedy classes in Satire & Sketch Writing, Improv, and Stand-Up.