Hey it's Friday. Let's rip on a stupid article.
This is a piece by some chick named Audrey Irvine and she does not like being called a cougar. No, for reals. Don't call her a cougar. She'll smack you.
Don't you dare call me a cougar! – CNN
In the age of the “cougar,” why is there not an equivalent term to describe men in their prime who date younger women?
There actually is a term for men in their prime who date younger women. And that term is, “alive.”
The term “cougar” has been used to describe older women who profess to dating and having a preference for younger men. However, there has never been a defined term or movement for older men who have been dating younger women for years.
Because we don't need one. We've been like that for thousands of years; you chicks just finally caught on to the fact that younger skin feels and tastes better and younger people tend to look better. Sorry it took you so long. I blame The Bible.
So this got me thinking, is the term “cougar” empowering or offensive?
It's only offensive if you're offended. It's only empowering if you're empowered. Myself, I would go with “descriptive” but that's just me. I'm crazy.
Recently, Carnival Cruise lines jumped on the “cougar” bandwagon by offering their first international single cougar cruise. The cruise, organized by Singles Travel Company, set sail from California to Mexico for three nights was booked for 300 guests and even had a waiting list.
This is what's known in the hospitality industry as “marketing.” Crazy little idea that may catch on.
After all, cougars are everywhere you turn these days. They're on television. One of ABC‘s top prime-time hits is “Cougartown” with Courtney Cox-Arquette in the leading animalistic role.
That show sucks.
The show attempts to focus on the comedy behind the cougar phenomenon, showing the sexual exploits of a 40-something divorcee on her dating quest for younger men.
Yeah, but it's a crappy show.
While earlier in the year, a lesser successful attempt by TV Land, the reality show ‘The Cougar' featuring a 40-year-old mother of five choosing her mate from a bevy of younger men. The show sought validity by having self proclaimed cougar Vivica A. Fox as host. In the end, the show gave off a rather desperate vibe.
Really? A dating-based reality show came off as desperate. Well smack me on the ass and call me cougar bait…
There are famous women who wear the cougar title with pride. Halle Berry and Demi Moore are among a number of other actresses in long-term relationships with significantly younger men. There is of course Madonna, always the pioneer, who led the “cougar” rage years before the phenomenon began. Let's not forget the most famous cougar Samantha from “Sex and the City” who proudly displayed her prowess for many seasons on cable, then again in the movie version.
This just in: hot famous women sometimes screw younger men. This is one revelation filled fucking piece.
I say all this to say that I don't have an issue with an older woman dating a younger man. As long as you have a relationship with two mature consenting adults who find love with one another, why would I take issue with that? My problem is with the term.
Wait… what? You have no problem with any cougar-based activity; you just don't like the word, “Cougar”? That's what all this is about. A word? I really don't like you, Audrey. Actually, it's not you I don't like; it's your name. From now on I'm calling you Bambi Miss Blowjob. Got a nice ring, eh?
Older men have been dating younger women for years. I'm sure that every man in this situation would take issue with being called a “sugar daddy,” so I have an issue with “cougar.” The term implies that the older women are predators while the unsuspecting younger man is the prey.
The difference between a cougar and a sugar momma is that a cougar doesn't necessarily support the man in question. A sugar daddy would have to, not only be older, but also be the main means of support for the chick in question. By definition, ergo, you suck Bambi Miss Blowjob. YOU SUCK NOW!
As a woman who has heard that I look younger than my license states, I have no problem with dating a younger man. But I refuse to be associated with a term that makes my dating life sound like I'm hunting, stalking and forcing my attentions upon some innocent, inexperienced young male.
This piece should have been titled, “Bambi Miss Blowjob is Tired of Being Called a Cougar and Would like More Orgasms from Younger Men Please.”
I know there will be detractors who say I'm being a prude and I should embrace my cougar status.
No, because you have embraced your cougar status. You just want to be called something else. That's why I nicknamed you Bambi Miss Blowjob. Remember? Oh… right…
Oddly enough, there is a term that everyone is familiar with that already exists so there is no need to be labeled a cougar. It describes being confident, self-assured at any age, empowered to make decisions without being influenced by what pop culture states is hot or not, isn't polarizing and addresses the concerns of my younger colleague. That word is woman.
Oh snap! You see what she did there. She's a woman dammit. And women, as we all know, are all whores. Not cougars. Whores.
Glad we got that cleared up.