WASHINGTON – Earlier today, President George W. Bush rejected critics of the Iraq war who demand a U.S. pullout explaining that the conflict remains necessary to prevent Islamic militants from gaining a foothold and furthering their expansion. The president explained that the war will require further sacrifices in order to quell the militant resurgence and provide stability as the new Iraqi government establishes itself.

“We will never back down, never give in and never accept anything less than complete virgins for our sacrifices.” Bush said while rallying for increased support. He went on to add, “and that includes oral.”

President Bush concluded his speech by reminding the American people that other sacrifices may be requested as needed.