Hello, how can I help you? Oh! You must be Gracie! Hi, I’m Claudia, we spoke on the phone! Nice to meet you! First day! Let me show you to your desk. Have you been an administrative assistant before? Oh, that’s great. You will report to Mayor Rocky, a four-year-old Bull Terrier. That door there goes to the atrium, that’s a great place to take your lunch. A lot of windows.

So it’s pretty classic admin stuff. Answering the phone, filing documents, keeping a calendar, making appointments, refilling the Mayor’s water bowl, that sort of thing, I’m sure you’re no stranger to any of it. A lot of interfacing with members of the public, City Councilmembers, local business leaders, and the like. You have a background in customer service right? That’ll be helpful. This is a role that requires you to wear a lot of different hats, but never one of those raccoon hats like Davy Crockett wore because the Mayor will go absolutely fucking nuts if he sees it.

Isn’t this building just beautiful? You should have seen where they had us during the remodel. Ugly little office park down by the airport. The Mayor barely came out from under his desk the whole time because the planes were so loud. I particularly like this, see this glass case? That’s a mammoth bone. They found it under the elementary school when they were breaking ground for the new building. We try not to bring the Mayor down this hallway. He’d sniff this thing all day if he could.

I know it’s sort of “en vogue” these days to bring your dog to work but unfortunately, there are no pets allowed at City Hall. Registered Service Animals are welcome, of course, but the Mayor will freak out. Even if we keep his office door closed he will just be in there losing his goddamn mind, barking his head off. There was a guy in City Planning who had a diabetic alert dog and the Mayor got out one day. It was ugly.

Here’s the break room. Microwave, fridge, sink, all the normal stuff. Label your food. There’s free coffee but between you and me it’s trash. I bring my own or there’s a Starbucks a few blocks down. If anyone is going they will usually see if anyone wants anything, see if Mayor Rocky wants a pup cup. We kinda try to be a family here. I know every workplace says that but we really do. Oh, the number for Ocean View Animal Hospital is on that sticky note on the fridge there. His veterinarian is Dr. Hart. Don’t worry all those sorts of things will be typed up for you, you don't need to remember every little thing just yet.

And this is your desk right here! Make yourself at home! Or should I say, at work! No, but really this is your domain. Zhuzh it up however you like. You’ll meet the Mayor when he gets back. He’s in a budget meeting right now. He’ll love you, he loves meeting new people, he’s very friendly, not great with kids though. Something to keep in mind.

I’ll let you get settled. I’ll let Rich from HR know you’re here and he’ll come by to get your I-9 and your W-4 and all that sorted out. Onboarding stuff. You know how it is.

You know, they say local elections are the most important elections you can vote in. This is where the real change happens, local government. The changes that really affect people’s lives, really help people. I like to say that Mayor Rocky is more important than the President even. But really, he’s the real deal. He cares, you know? It’s not just platitudes with him, he cares about the people in this town. He wants to help them. Really and truly. He has a good heart, aside from the heartworms.

Oh right, that reminds me, he’s taking medication for heartworms so he’s not allowed to run around for a couple of months.


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