Humor writing published daily. Featured: Best of Year | Editors’ Picks | People’s Favorites | Satire | Guides | Observations | Stories
I feel like I know you. The surveillance software used to monitor your workflow has been telling me what a great person you are.
Here’s a better deal for Elon: he can regain esteem, credibility, and respect by buying my status of tenured full professor.
We've accepted the fact that the Corn Maze could no longer compete with technology's draw to hook you to the point that you lose all sense of time.
Well, who's got two bruised fists and thumbs and is offering you their services? That's right—me.
We will cover all the fundamentals, from color and composition to bloodstain patterns and anatomy.
Families traveling with children can begin boarding, at this time. Is anyone here thinking of having children? You, too, are welcome to line up.
Intermittently mention “The Kremlin.” Smart people discuss this often.
We’re living in a day and age where kids think they can trash talk a member of the Royal Family on Fortnite.
The goal is to attract deranged perverts and I just thought that maybe I could attract a higher class of horny weirdos, someone I could vibe with.
It absolutely snuck up on me, even though I’m 32 years old and have lived in the tri-state area my entire life.
When people told me they thought this song was about sexual relations, this corn-shuckin’ country boy was shocked.
When Bob Ross painted you, he always put the trees in front of you. Don't wonder why.