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Listen, I know it's been a while since we've had a serious talk, but my penis already feels like it's burning in Hell. Oh God, please help me!
Matters of the heart may seem abstract, but with the right enthusiasm and passion, you'll be meeting your GOALs (Girl Offering Anal Love) in no time.
There are a lot of hypotheses for the mystery of the failed hookup, but none with such extensive research in the field (of cannabis).
The toughest, most complicated holiday of the year exemplifies the emotional dichotomy between men and women. Solutions anyone?
It's not like you're wearing sunglasses you know. I can feel the heat from your eyes burning on me like a thousand suns. You want me so badly.
Forget everything you know about gambling and put on your winner's hat. If you bet on red long enough, there's no way you'll end up in the black.
Not to burst your bubble or anything, but when a test is graded by a robot, you're going to need some advanced study techniques.
The recently de-classified, scintillating correspondence between two desperate and impassioned prisoners. Yes, you can cook with Vaseline.
Once a hookup, ALWAYS a hookup. You won't need a scientist to tell you that this theory will help lubricate your next dry spell.
Ladies, you've been pre-approved for everything you desire. Just learn to milk your man for every last drop that he's worth and it's truly priceless.
When you wake up feeling like there's a wolverine in your stomach, it turns out an enema is your only friend. Beware the oil spill.
Please don't ignore the wisdom of experienced college cleaning staff. Because when it comes to brothels, they know exactly which type of ecstasy to avoid.