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Arbitrary waiting has become my drug. I feed my addiction by going to grocery stores and lining up without anything to purchase. Sometimes when I'm really hurting I go and camp out for the next Harry Potter movie.
A look at the ways I failed to cope with boredom and loneliness in the vacation weeks leading up to the start of my college career.
Ten ways to spice up your life using the unexpected to your advantage, including a vacation to North Korea and a simple church bombing!
Over the years, I have become rather fond of certain customer support complaints; not because of their merits, but because some have been so monumentally and dangerously stupid.
<p>You might remember him as the coach of the greatest peewee hockey team ever: The Mighty Ducks. However, after much research into the "Mighty Duck Man" himself, I've decided he is nothing more than a mighty douchebag. Here are 10 reasons why.</p>
I don't claim to be the cleanest person on the block, but I do believe in a basic minimum inalienable standard of acceptable human living conditions. And Shanty Town doesn't qualify.
Reluctantly, I agreed to take care of my mother’s cat while she was out of town. Being a lover of all animals, you'd think I'd have been excited - but you'd be mistaken.
Unless you can prove that you are indeed Dracula's metrosexual grandson, do not pop your collar. Pansies like you disgrace real men.
To buy a bumper sticker's worth of space on Dale Jr's car would cost somewhere north of a million bucks. But I'll let you sponsor my car for $500!
Instead of the wonderful Korean language that once filled the teacher's lounge with beauty and dignity, the atmosphere became impregnated with George Carlin rhetoric.
Every May, some University of San Francisco seniors coordinate a bar stumble to celebrate the conclusion of $160,000 and four years of boobs, booze, and SparkNotes.
I make minimum wage at a dead end job. Part of my job includes interacting with you. This means my job fucking sucks. Here's how you can make it worse.