To call me a "racing fan" might not adequately describe my affliction. As the son and grandson of stock car drivers, it would be fair to say that the sport is in my blood. I have seen the sweat, time, and gobs of money that are sacrificed to put a car on the track. Likewise, I hold an appreciation for sponsorship as well as the inherent value (i.e. cash) it can bring in. Whether it's on my daily commuter or race car, I view fenders, hoods, and door panels as viable ad space.

Such an optimistic approach compels me to snicker at vehicles that are decorated with corporate logos. Case in point: the Apple Sticker.

Not to criticize those of you who do, but I personally refuse to advertise for a company without any compensation. Although I own no fewer than four Apple products and swear by their computers, I have yet to receive a discount or a check from Steve Jobs for my devotion. If ten grand showed up tomorrow, however, I would happily adorn my car, house, animals, and wife with Apple stickers, but I'm not holding my breath for such an opportunity.

SUV with Carlsberg beer car advertising wrapIf one were to buy a bumper sticker's worth of space on Dale Jr's Sunday ride, it would cost somewhere north of a million bucks per season. Now, I certainly do not have his drawing power (or inadequate understanding of the English language), but I do bring a little something to the table. First of all, as many of you know, I am relatively shameless. Chappy is no stranger to outrageous costumes, speeches, or questionable dance moves. Secondly, to drop some advertising lingo on you, my "reach" has got to be somewhere in the thousands per week. Between commuting, social events, handshaking, and baby kissin', I make some decent rounds.

Therefore, based on a little shady math I just did, a similar amount of space on my car should cost about five hundred dollars a year. Added bonus, I'll go NASCAR style and mention your company at every opportunity. For example…

(Sitting in a meeting)

My Boss: So Chappy, what are your thoughts on our fiscal plan for the year regarding widgets and such?

Chappy: Well, first of all I would like to thank Earl's Palace of Man Thongs for the sale they are having this weekend on all leopard prints…

Surely by now you are interested in this exciting opportunity to be a part of the Chappy brand. Want your logo on my car, website, dog, lawn mower, left butt cheek, etc.?  Shoot me an email and maybe we can work something out. Contact me in the next thirty minutes and I'll send you a slightly-used ear cleaning device that I fashioned out of a paper clip, absolutely free!

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