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After a 20-hour plus binge of cocaine, MDMA, and nitrous, I took a drop of acid. And right there and then I decided that I would build an active volcano on the British Isle.
Being stuck in a human-sized box six feet under ground for all eternity gets super boring after a while. Here are 10 ways to look good and keep busy, even in death.
How could Vlad possibly tell his father he wanted to graduate from UGA, move to LA, and become a cartoonist, not apprentice to become a sadistic mogul?
For the fall catalog, if you can't write me an evocative, "I-need-this-item-or-I-will-surely-die" product description, you're finished. You will never work retail again.
Do not underestimate the importance of having two homes to being a writer, despite seeming to have nothing to do with telling a story. It's all about the dust jacket.
The combination of instant gratification and illusion of power is what makes Fantasy Football the cyber-Viagra that it is. You are the coach, the GM, and the cheerleader.
Deep-frying and deep-fried foods are now a major part of our lives, for better or worse. But the stuff in this list will either make you salivate or cringe and vomit.
Dear Katie, I'm writing to tell you to get tested. It seems I've caught something, and not in a fun way, like that time we went fishing at your parent's lake house.
One question people regularly ask me is, "What drugs are you on, and where can I get some?" Here are some sweeping generalizations to help get you high ASAP.
In an attempt to shield you from pedophiles, AIDS, and sun rays, your parents deprived you of the opportunity to experience rejection, exhaustion, and bullies.
If not for the massage therapy, Barry Bowler would have been exceptionally down. Doobie's Hair Salon and Massage Parlor was hardly moral, but definitely enjoyable.
The good news is, most of what you learn in school will not help you in life. No matter how thrilling you may find academics, it simply won't help you in the long run.