Humor writing published daily. Featured: Best of Year | Editors’ Picks | People’s Favorites | Satire | Guides | Observations | Stories
In the last 40 years, there's been over 4 billion of us thrown out of the safety and warmth of our mother's canal in order to cling to this shitty rock and be miserable.
Face it, what is Thanksgiving without the ritual night-before Wild Turkey blackout, chafed thighs following turkey overindulgence, and terrible children's artwork.
A profile picture is your Internet face. And, just like your real face, it will be severely critiqued by every person who sees it, so it's important to get it right.
Can you hear my grunts? Can you feel how slippery my body has become? The truth is, this is more than sex to me.
Principal Legree, you hold three college degrees, but have only a pathetic 583 followers. And you claim to rule me? I OWN WESTWOOD HIGH SCHOOL NOW.
If you enjoy having sex with girls (or "women" as the older ones like to be called), you will increase your chances of getting laid with these simple shortcuts.
So you shaved the sides of your head and you dyed the top of your head purple. Congratulations, you are now different! But we can all see right through you.
The creative process is cool but I need some serious money. I bet you crave the same. Digest my three-part prescriptive program for making millions.
There's a whole unexpected upside to backpacking that goes beyond palaces and beaches, and, in the end, may well be what you remember most about your trip.
Uber not only allows you to pay top dollar to be kidnapped by a serial rapist, but automatically includes a 20% gratuity for having your dignity stripped!
Okay, so you want to write for Thought Catalog. Great! Wanting to write is half the battle! Of course, not wanting to write is also half the battle, so don't get too excited.
No doubt Owl is one of the most interesting birds that exist in this universe. It is responsible not only for social media, but a boyfriend's enraged jealous face.