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There are plenty of unknowable mysteries about life. But one thing we do know is that no person has ever been created to slice another person's forehead with a hatchet.
First comes shock and denial, as it just keeps rolling around the plate, inviting a game of cat and mouse. Except here, it's not a game, it's REAL LIFE.
I care about women's rights and want to make sure women aren't perceived as basic, so I need to call out basic dumb bitch behavior when I see it. Otherwise, men will do it for me.
Republicans have demonstrated unflappable stoicism in the face of foreign attacks, unparalleled corruption, and looming constitutional crisis. How would they have fared with historical events?
One listen to HIM, the Finnish lords and saviors whose hit single "Killing Loneliness" contains the secret to living, and Gloom's gospel will quickly unmask the jolly tendencies you maintain.
It frustrates you to know I get laid more than you. I have chicken legs and a cartoonish beer belly. I have a hooknose and my eyes are a bit too close together.
ATTENTION BREEDERS! Ultimate Dog® can make ANY Dog a Horn Dog! Whether it’s a Lazy Bloodhound, or a Gay Chihuahua, your pedigree will be looking for pussy in no time flat!
No sense in paying all this money for Obamacare when the end is near. Expensive, too expensive, when we're all going to die anyway. You should love the AHCA.
I know you didn't choose to be so poorly-endowed. But you did choose to be an unbearable asshole, and I want to be clear about my contempt for your very existence.
Should horses be allowed to practice medicine? Here is a quick cost-benefit analysis.
"The Lifer" has been doing the same job for over 30 years and, despite your complaints, still wears his misery like a warm blanket on a blustery winter night.
The gods of Mount Olympus delight in watching the bloody clashes of human civilization. Seriously, what was that business in Iraq? Wars are for nation DESTROYING!