10:00 A.M: A phone call! Could it be an inteview? No, just those Mormon missionaries you gave your number to during that “Who am I” phase in college.
I was made to bring joy to this world. Now I’m on the floor where I can only bring pain. I fear I am becoming the villain.
"It’s just a trend," say the naysayers, "they’ll fade as fast as Pogs." Well let me tell you something you squashers of sunshine: I'm not a goddamn milk cap, I'm the milk.
One listen to HIM, the Finnish lords and saviors whose hit single "Killing Loneliness" contains the secret to living, and Gloom's gospel will quickly unmask the jolly tendencies you maintain.