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Before you jump down my throat about how I obviously shouldn't have worn jorts to a job interview, it was at a company that SOLD JEAN SHORTS.
It's not that I don't think you're scary. But this is NYC, and I really need to get a roommate listed on this lease or else I'll have to move back to Ohio with my parents.
Feeling sad? Self-esteem finally bottomed out? Skip the Zoloft and go with today's leading anti-depressant regimen: rap music.
The Sasquatchelor: Losers from previous seasons of The Bachelor are stranded in the wilds of Oregon and tasked with finding love, as well as Bigfoot.
While there are many Craigslist jobs out there, this one is unique because it pays well and guarantees you will not be bludgeoned to death during a pagan sacrifice.
Dealbreakers are for spinsters and women who don't shave their armpits. Take what you can get now or die alone.
So difficult to get things done with the Senate always getting in the way, but these filibusters, they make it hard. We need filibuster reform, even if it is such a fun word to say.
In addition to not supporting slavery, I, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, would like to lay out very clearly everything else Donald Trump and this administration opposes.
I'm wearing a transparent red teddy while I fondle myself to thoughts of your survival preparations. That’s because I'm outside of the fallout zone.
The farting, the boozing, the singing, the lamenting... good grief, what a bunch of lazy, pretentious midgets with nothing to do but stir up drama.
Today's definition of masculinity has been warped. We men need to to get in touch with our manhood, and you better be prepared to cry and then go stone cold about it.
The reasons why you never hear from famous saga characters after their adventures are over.