Daily funny articles by seasoned comedy writers and fresh voices. Best of Year | Editors' Picks | People's Favorites | Satire | Guides | Observations | Stories
We then cut to the same location to view the disturbing spectacle of grotesque businessmen carving up our dead Bill and eating him for supper.
Go back to Wawa to demand they stop selling cigarettes to your Beanie Babies after you catch Splash the Killer Whale with a carton of Pall Malls.
The Philadelphia Museum of Art, somehow, contains a large painting of me having my ass beat with a hammer, wielded by a man who I have never met.
He's always asleep during both sunrise and sunset, so he's never seen one before. Doesn't get what the big deal is.
“My moon is in Sagittarius, so I shut down emotionally to cope with stress! I told you that on Christmas after I punched that mall Santa!”
What should have been a detailed account of how you navigated the labyrinth of deception and red herrings is forever tainted by an itchy throat.
"I’m fiscally conservative in Q1" or maybe just a simple ":(" ?
Do you purposefully find buttons in hopes that pressing one could destroy a planet or star system? A. Yes B. No C. What are buttons
The movie starred the multi-talented and gregarious Luke Wilson, but the book taught me the word "gregarious." The book was better.
Fanta, Fanta Zero, Lemon Fanta Zero, Sprite Zero, Baskin Robins 31 Flavors, bucket-o-syrup
Also, I’ve requisitioned the men’s room for my milling and mashing. I’m not going to be hauling raw grain up the stairs for each and every batch.
It’s a commitment, most football teams have several practices a week. As a single parent, I can’t make that work. Also my son is made of glass.