Daily funny articles by seasoned comedy writers and fresh voices. Best of Year | Editors' Picks | People's Favorites | Satire | Guides | Observations | Stories
He's always asleep during both sunrise and sunset, so he's never seen one before. Doesn't get what the big deal is.
“My moon is in Sagittarius, so I shut down emotionally to cope with stress! I told you that on Christmas after I punched that mall Santa!”
What should have been a detailed account of how you navigated the labyrinth of deception and red herrings is forever tainted by an itchy throat.
"I’m fiscally conservative in Q1" or maybe just a simple ":(" ?
Do you purposefully find buttons in hopes that pressing one could destroy a planet or star system? A. Yes B. No C. What are buttons
The movie starred the multi-talented and gregarious Luke Wilson, but the book taught me the word "gregarious." The book was better.
Fanta, Fanta Zero, Lemon Fanta Zero, Sprite Zero, Baskin Robins 31 Flavors, bucket-o-syrup
Also, I’ve requisitioned the men’s room for my milling and mashing. I’m not going to be hauling raw grain up the stairs for each and every batch.
It’s a commitment, most football teams have several practices a week. As a single parent, I can’t make that work. Also my son is made of glass.
The only thing that stops a bad kid with a dream is a good fully grown adult with a Twitter account. Please heed these social media tips.
13. The Kid That Pretended Fun Dip Was Cocaine Arrest Record: Oh, definitely real cocaine Common Names: Skyler, Dana, Jonah
Wheat Grass: You are health conscious and enjoy taste bud masochism. Scotch: You are a lawyer and you’ve been to 13% of your son’s baseball games.