Daily funny articles by seasoned comedy writers and fresh voices. Best of Year | Editors' Picks | People's Favorites | Satire | Guides | Observations | Stories
Keep in mind: we have a "zero-tolerance policy" on tardiness!
Once the kayak is stolen, the Captain sells the 'yak to fund his groovy seaside summer adventures and to replenish his supply of slushy drinks.
Wooden coffee stirrer, remember when Straw convinced you that the barista went through 45 toothpicks a day? The look on your face! God, he was fun.
I’m not sure what the hell he’s talking about, but as a practicing clinical psychologist, he probably knows something that I don’t.
D-Mo had made a lot of gains over the past year, but he still had so many gains ahead of him. I guess that’s what makes this so difficult.
The Office’s (U.S.) water cooler, The Avalon 3-Temperature Self-Cleaning Bottle-less Water Cooler, was personally recruited by Greg Daniels.
8. The brain's ability to recognize faces is limited to John Lithgow --- Human faces: only computers can tell them apart.
And sure, the judge may say this is all “outside the scope of the trial”---but who are you gonna listen to? Me, or this fuckin' alien judge?
Great Awakening Soufflé: Stir pent-up resentment amongst white Americans (preferably men, but women are an adequate substitute).
Sagittarius: Relishes in cheeses collected from their travels around the world
My patients are my best friends. Where would I be if they hadn't let me crash on their couches after the mob found out I'm sleeping at my office?
I can't marry you into the Dukedom of Wellington: my parents are not the Duke and Duchess of Wellington. They're the Duke and Duchess of Devonshire!