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No amount of social distancing would save you and your family from the terrifying bacterial grasps of our public pool.
Must project Buddha-like calm, possess mixologist-level cocktail skills, and know when to keep the kids out of my “home office."
But resistance must not be allowed to harden into its own brand of oppression—which That Jerk sitting in my chair is already exploiting.
Don’t just stand there, staring at me. You’ve never asked for my consent. I don’t want to be three inches from your swollen uvula.
I eat at dawn. As soon as the sun's crescent pierces the horizon I will eat my dog chow. Or else I will go ape shit.
It's a head-scratcher to be confused with one of America's most consistent box office draws; an actor with the range to do both comedy and drama.
Undoubtedly a continuation of the Dada movement, "Screaming At The Sun" was so avant-garde, so groundbreaking, and just SO RANDOM xD.
Knitting With Dog Hair: The three sets of socks will keep Jonathan's feet warm when he is cold and his mouth shut when he is snoring.
Did it ever occur to you that I wrote backwards because I was a private guy who kept to himself? You think social anxiety wasn’t a thing in 1507?
There’s nothing I love more than hearing all types of fireworks one after the other. Sometimes it’s a bunch of little ones; like 25 in a row.
I definitely don’t lay in bed motionless, hovering between sleep and wakefulness, until finally my hungry cat comes and scream-meows in my face.
Did you know that Bill Gates actually invented racism? It’s something he put in all the vaccines. ALL OF THEM. But no, you probably don’t want to hear that.