Hey everyone, I’m Brian. I thought it was about time I speak up in this class so I can finally get those participation points. I’m also, like, really smart; so, I thought you all might benefit from listening to me ramble on with reckless abandon until you all feel so inclined to drop this class or end it right here and now.

OK, so right before I piggyback off of that previous point, I just want to say that I see what you’re saying about slavery being “the fault of the white man” and also “non-voluntary,” but I think it’s really important to mention that African Kings did sell their people in the first place, so I just feel like it’s unfair to blame it on one side. And not to play devil’s advocate but I don’t think there were slaves on the Mayflower, so I don’t really get what you mean when you say that “slavery is embedded in the foundations of American society.”

And actually, I’m just going to stop you right there because I know there are only five minutes left in class and everyone has their hand raised but I think it’s important to note that this sentence is too long.

What was I saying? Oh right, when you were talking about racism just now, I agree with that. Well, sort of. I mean I agree that racism used to exist, which is bad. However, it does not exist anymore because segregation is over, and I have black friends. Which is good.

Well, I’m sure you can tell at this point that I haven’t done the reading, nor have ever read anything that isn’t a menu or a street sign in my life, but I just wanted to take this time to share one last totally irrelevant personal anecdote. It’s just hard for me these days because I feel like everyone is so sensitive and gets mad at me for saying for things that I don’t personally feel are offensive, like saying the n-word when I rap Drake songs. This is just me, but I don’t feel like that is fair because Drake is my favorite rapper—mainly because I don’t know any other ones—and America is a free country where I should be able to pursue my right to be happy at the cost of others.

People called me a stinky noob in High School and also Middle School and actually now that I think about it, in this class yesterday… And you don’t see me walking around forbidding people from saying it! The point is that I feel happy when I sing along to my favorite songs, and anyone who disagrees with me is interfering with my right to be happy which is a constitutional crime, I think.

Actually one of my black friends (DeAndre—or was it Deante?) and I were talking about this the other day; we were saying that a lot of problems in America—like dealing with immigrants and poor people—would be a lot easier if people stopped whining about it and just let the government do their jobs. Like maybe if we stopped asking so many questions we would stop revealing all of these problems that exist, and we could all just live our lives like in a super chill way, you know?

Anyways, once again I just want to say that I don’t remember what the original question was, but I hope that you all have acquired a bunch of unnecessary information about personal life from listening to me talk about… um… this topic.