Listen, Bill, If you're like me, you’ve done your research; you read all of the articles in Men’s Health and Men's Fitness warning you how expensive divorce is and—like me—you probably said, “How bad can it get?”
The truth is, when you’re married, you get comfortable, and part of that comfort comes from relying on shared income with your spouse. Divorce means making sacrifices and that can mean saying goodbye to your morning cup of Folgers® Simply Gourmet®.
I don’t know the nitty-gritty details about your divorce, but if you're like me, I imagine Melinda probably blindsided you with some out-of-nowhere comment about how you’re “constantly projecting yourself onto other people.” But let’s be real: You and your wife have been cooped up in a one-bedroom apartment for the past year, and that took a toll on your marriage.
She’s exhausted by your unrelenting desire to launch a music career before you turn 40, and you’re tired of her asking you to clean up around the house when it’s just going to get dirty again.
Nobody is to blame here, it all comes down to circumstance.
Get Used to Roommates
I’m sure you’re probably fantasizing about bachelor life, thinking you’ll be living it up in a mansion on a lake like a rockstar, but the reality is you’re going to need roommates and it’s going to suck.
This isn’t the college dorm where your roommates are all exactly the same as you and like all of the same things that you do. You’re a grown man now, so don’t be surprised when your roommate flips out about the surf-and-turf tacos that you prep for the entire week and heat up in the microwave.
I get the sense that you’re like me in that you are a hard-working person who is dedicated to the things you're passionate about, like music, but maybe it’s time to start thinking about other people for a change. Volunteering doesn’t mean you have to work at a soup kitchen. For guys like you and me, it might look a little different. Like maybe the best way for you to give back to the community is to pick up your guitar, find a street corner, and share some of the songs you’ve been working on. If you put out your guitar case, you may even make a few extra bucks.
Lower Your Expectations
Whatever happens, just know that this is going to be hard. Even if you find an apartment and a couple of roommates, there's no way to anticipate that they are going to kick you out with no notice, and then you're back to square one. My suggestion is to start small, find a few couches to surf before you find a place to call home.
You’re going to get through this Bill, but whatever happens, don't give up on your music.