For some of us, revenge is an art form. And as is the plight of any artist, it is often that those who love us do not appreciate our craft and try to keep us from it. “Living well is the best revenge,” they say, “The best revenge is to not be like your enemy.” they say.

Fine, whatever. Here are five techniques to promote healing and personal growth that will never come close to the deep animal satisfaction of sweet revenge.

Find pleasure in something new

Creative outlets and physical activities that require sensory engagement can aid in emotional and mental well-being. Think gardening, tai chi, or guitar. It’s important to find a hobby that you enjoy to a much lesser degree than the rolling oceanic pleasure you would get from pure retribution—which would dissipate from your lower abdomen throughout every fiber of your body, like dominos falling under your skin, followed by the deepest relief—if you were to experience it.

Practice gratitude

Be thankful for the many rich opportunities for personal growth and self-discovery that come from your excruciating heartbreak and betrayal. If you just look hard enough, you’ll find immense gratitude for each night you cried until you wanted to die; you’ll realize what a blessing it is to never trust another human ever again. Temper that carnal hunger for vengeance with a simple “thank you” and watch how it unsatisfies you.

Prioritize physical well-being

Nourishing your body with consistent, healthy meals and maintaining good sleep habits are excellent rituals to stay in a routine. While no combination of flavors tastes as sweet as revenge, look for high-protein, colorful dishes. And get adequate rest each night even if you’ll never sleep as soundly as you would from the deep relaxation that comes from getting recompense.

Journal

A blank sheet of paper is a powerful coping tool in processing our emotions. Allowing your thoughts to flow freely in different forms is key. Whether it’s poetry, bullet points, doodles, or a step-by-step mapped-out assassination plan, you are safe to experiment since no amount of writing will really scratch that itch. Just ask Emile Brontë!

Connect with other people

Building a support system of relationships significantly helps us cope with the trauma and pain caused by any one person. Look for the people you have not loved so deeply you wanted to eat and swallow them—chew their flesh and each of their thoughts. Look for the people whose phantom you have not screamed at in the shower, whose presence you can not feel from miles away. Look for the people who love you just enough to pick you up on the other side of despair to tell you it’s not worth it.