College Quotes

Thousands of dumb, funny, and amusing college quotes submitted daily by students everywhere and immortalized in one place for greater shame and reflection.

Sarah: He is so good when he goes down. I get an orgasm from him.
Natalie: I've never had one from a guy.
Sarah: From a girl?
Natalie: No, from myself.
Sarah: You can lick yourself?
-On stretching the imagination

University of North Carolina - Chapel Hill

"Can't talk, squeezing."
-Natalie, yelling back at her friend while dropping a deuce

University of North Carolina - Chapel Hill

Natalie: Guess what? I'm wearing a tube top at work today.
Maggie: Are you wearing anything over it?
Natalie: No.
Maggie: YOU WHORE!
-On standards of coverage

University of North Carolina - Chapel Hill

Steve: Dude TJ, I see you got some people hangin' out tonight.
TJ: Yeah man, these are my dudes.
Steve: Aight, well if y'all wanna come downstairs later I think there are some skanks down there if you wanna check it out.
Chris: What does he mean by skanks?
(5 minutes later)
Chris: Ohhhhh, ewwwwwww, my eyes!
-On classic definitions

University of North Carolina - Chapel Hill

Lex: Becky thinks she has echolocation.
Alex: Like a fish?
-Why Alex doesn't major in marine biology

University of North Carolina - Chapel Hill
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