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Recent Comments
| Author | Comment | Article |
|---|---|---|
| Meow | ::begins slow clap:: That, | KC's Nupts |
| Anonymous (not verified) | Oh yeah, I've got that | That Bailed Out Feeling |
| Omar Kitrich | Excellent piece. | Languages I Hate |
| Britt (not verified) | That sounds absolutely | KC's Nupts |
| Kat (not verified) | Loved your bit into Quebec | Languages I Hate |
Painfully Retarded Quotes
Oops! You forgot to think before you spoke. Don't worry, it happens to the best of us, seriously. Just read all the morons below.
Submit your quotes here!
Colby: We should go buy some poison to kill those wasps under the steps.
Brandyn: It's almost winter. They'll die pretty soon.
Colby: Just like homeless people.
-On extermination
Ashley: Wait... what's the website?
Andrew: Www dot pointsincase dot com.
Ashley: What? Point in case dot com?
Andrew: No, P as in Penis, O as in Octopus, I as in Igloo, N as in Nigga, T as in... Oh my god I forgot your roommate is black!!!
-On the worst possible thing to say while on speakerphone with a friend and her roommate
Dumb girl: You got a job here?
Stallings: No, I just like to sit in on random meetings.... Keeps me informed.
-On the new business casual
AJ: I challange you!
Chris: Accepted! Cupcake-eating contest!
AJ: Bring it bigman, I'm gonna fuck you up.
Chris: Fuck you I'm gonna eat the shit out of the cupcake.
AJ: I'm gonna eat you.
Chris: As long as you lick my frosting....
-When badass contests turn soft
Crossing the line in Macro Econ supply and demand class
"Did you see 300?"
-Colin's roommate, after he met a girl on the floor who said she was Persian
Kyle: Come sei dice "giraffe" in Italiano?
Francesca: ...Giraffe?
Kyle (pointing to picture): Si.
Colin: That's a zebra. Learn your animals in English, first.
-On foreign animals
Britt: My finger hurts so bad.
Pat: It'll stop hurting when it feels better.
-Pat, striking down another broad
Chris: I wonder why all of our windows downstairs are taped shut.
Aaron: They're caulked shut.
Chris: Cock...
Aaron: ...
Chris: Our trash cans smell bad.
Aaron: Yeah they do.
Chris: ...
Aaron: ... We've had better conversations.
-Batting .000 for the day
"'Freak accident' makes it sound like he was mauled by a bowling ball or something..."
-Amanda, on freak accidents
Kelli: I can't wait to see that movie!
Chris: When does it come out?
Kelli: Fall 2008...wait, that doesn't make sense. We missed it.
Chris: Fall 2008 is right now.
Kelli: Oops, I was thinking of last year.
Chris: Fall 2009?
Chloe: Fall 2007, Chris.
Kelli: HA! Your stupidity cancels out my stupidity!
-On theories destined for failure
Caprio: Sure we can go.... after you suck my dick for 3 hours.
Tom: You wish, Mike. You're a minute man.
Caprio: That's just because you're so good at sucking dick.
-Hmm, who's gayer...
Leslie: Do I need my coat? What's the weather like outside?
Rob: Dark.
-Why Rob can never realize his dream of being a weatherman
Stallings: You're such a tool.
Nate: Yeah, but I'm a really expensive tool, like a DeWalt or something.
-On mitigating factors
