College Quotes
"Its like a Jackson Pollock painting!"
-Renfro, on some nasty ass sheets desperately in need of washing
Funny AIM Convos
The Scale of Doom
(PG-13, 70 lines)A scale isn't the only way to help fatties face the truth about their weight problem.
You've Been Hacked!
(PG-13, 49 lines)Every year, on April 1st, The Humor Bot turns into a hacking machine.
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Books from PIC
The Snippets and the Impure Tour
By Nathan DeGraaf
A fascinating tour of sex, booze, drugs, and debauchery, complete with witty banter.
The Imbible
By Alex Bash
The definitive guide to drinking games, both new and classic, plus boob jokes.
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Overheard at College
Quotes and conversations overheard at college. For all those times you couldn't help but take mental note.
Submit quotes you've overheard here!
Guy: You are conceited.
Girl: Nope.
Guy: Okay, let me ask you this: On a scale of 1 to 10, how sexy do you think you are?
Girl: 10,000,000 or more.
-Overheard on the quad
Random Girl: I hate twins.
Girl's Friend: Why?
Random Girl: Well there's a set that live in my building. I went down on one and hooked up with the other, and I can never tell which one I'm supposed to be nicer to 'cause I can't tell them apart...
-Overheard on an elevator
"You know that black people are allowed to sit at the front of the bus these days."
-Drunk guy to a black guy, overheard on a late night campus bus
"I have a glass of powdered water but I don't know what to add!"
-Overheard from a random drunk guy in the kitchen of a house party
"God, I miss black people."
-Overheard in the cafeteria
Kid #1: Guess what I saw at Wal-Mart last night?
Kid #2: Low, low prices!
-On the consumers of the future
"That lady called me gay, but really, old ladies don't turn me on."
-Overheard outside the administration building
Freshman #1: Are you awake? I want the Cinnamon Toast Crunch...
Freshman #2: I left the cereal in the house when the cops came.
-Overheard in a dorm hallway
Random guy: If this was Madden we'd be winning right now!!
Random guy a section away: If this was Madden, we wouldn't be at a college football game!
-Overheard in the stands during the UCF-USF game
"It's not a fucking sea otter. I see these things on trees in my backyard. It's a squirrel. You got cheated mate, it's not a fucking sea otter. It's a squirrel. Look at it, that's not a fucking sea otter, it's clearly a squirrel."
-Overheard on a bus with drunken tourists
Drunk girl: I'm filled with the Holy Spirit!
Drunk girl's friend: You're filled with wh--
Drunk girl: AND BOOZE!
-Overheard outside a party
Guy in Bear Costume: Hey! We're drunk bears!
Random Guy: Hey, I've seen you around, wanna come back to the tents, have some ecstasy? Smoke a joint?
Guy in Bear Costume: Bears don't do E.
(Bear walks away)
-Overheard at Pemberton
