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Monday, April 14
"Okay guys. Here is the plan for tonight. We
are going to take this garbage can and make a big circle around it. We
will go around in a circle, everyone will throw some money in the
garbage can, take a shot, and punch the person across from them in the
face. Then we will light all our money on fire at the end of the night.
It will be just like a night at the bars, but we don't have to go
anywhere."
-Ravi, on reasonable alternatives to going out on a Saturday night
Indiana University
Steph: Don't you need a prescription for nicotine patches?
Sara: No, you don't need a prescription for nicotine patches, just like
you don't need a prescription for condoms.
Hugh: Oh, I do.
-That one could go either way
University of Massachusetts
Linds: Kaitlin, your car is a lot nicer without three people in the
back.
Dolores: Yeah, I don't feel so Mexican anymore.
-Shaking off that stereotypical feeling
Southern Methodist University
Program Guy: Wanna buy a program?
Linds: I'm good, thanks.
Program Guy: I'm sure you are, but that has nothing to do with programs.
-Sexual innuendos at the Scarborough Renaissance Festival
Southern Methodist University
Kyle: I Jody Teekens'd that final!
Em: You had sex with it?
Kyle: No! I finished first!
Em: Uhh... is there a difference?
-On getting the job done
University of Waterloo
Heather: Come on Drew, let's go to bed.
Drew: Yeah! Le'ts go and have sex hangin' from the ceiling fan!
Heather: Drew, I don't have a ceiling fan in my room.
Drew: I can install one. All I need is handcuffs and some
100-mile-an-hour duct tape!
-Drew, showcasing his talent after a night of drinking and watching
comedians on TV
Central Michigan University
Ryan: Let's call a stripper....
Rob: It's not like a pizza...they don't just have on demand stripper
delivery.
Ryan: Dude, we need to move to Thailand.
-Unaware of their options on a drunk Friday night
University of Michigan
Britt: I just don't like penises.
Markus: Are you trying to tell me you're a lesbian.
Britt: Oh no, not that, just I don't find them appetizing anymore.
Markus: I hope you meant attractive.
Britt: Yeah that too.
-Drunk sibling discussion
University of California Northridge
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