The Birds and the Bees

AIM Convos(PG, 122 lines)

Sex. It's when two people...well, it's where babies...hmm.... It's about time we had this little talk.

riot1gurl: hi
riot1gurl: do you talk about sex?
courtjester5000: Yes.
riot1gurl: well?
riot1gurl: talk to me
riot1gurl: what is sex?
courtjester5000: Sex is you and me sitting in a tree.
riot1gurl: i dont get it
riot1gurl: ?????????????????????
courtjester5000: K-I-S-S-I-N-G.
riot1gurl: sex is not kissing!!! kissing is kissing, what is sex????????????????????????????????????/
riot1gurl: can you pleaseeeeeeeeeee tell me what sex is
courtjester5000: Sex is when you kiss a frog.
courtjester5000: And it turns into a prince.
riot1gurl: no it is not
riot1gurl: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
riot1gurl: tell me
riot1gurl: !!11
courtjester5000: How do you know what it ISN'T if you don't know what it IS?
riot1gurl: because i read the book the frog and the princess and they were not have ing sex , and we sing the kissing song all the tyme
courtjester5000: Do you have reproductive organs?
riot1gurl: i dont kn ow
courtjester5000: Ouch, this could get ugly.
riot1gurl: why?
courtjester5000: Are you familiar with the birds and the bees?
riot1gurl: yeabirds sing and bees sting
courtjester5000: Let's just say, in this case, birds have vaginas and bees have penises.
courtjester5000: Bee stings bird, bird lays egg, baby is born, orgasm occurs.
courtjester5000: That is sex in a nutshell.
courtjester5000: Or in this case, an eggshell.
riot1gurl: that is odd
courtjester5000: That is just the way God planned it.
riot1gurl: oooooooooook
courtjester5000: Have you spoken with Jesus lately?
riot1gurl: yea everyday i am christian
courtjester5000: Kanye West says you can rap about anything, but not about Jesus.
courtjester5000: Do you find his overt religious overtones overwhelming?
riot1gurl: sure
riot1gurl: hoos cane wqest
riot1gurl: west*
courtjester5000: Let's talk about things you know about that don't contain needless alliteration.
courtjester5000: Name something you are good at.
courtjester5000: Besides asking stupid questions.
riot1gurl: singing and piano
riot1gurl: and neopets
courtjester5000: Ok, first we need to get you some new hobbies.
courtjester5000: Like badminton, goth rock, and ringtones.
riot1gurl: why?
courtjester5000: Are you familiar with Snake?
riot1gurl: who? i like good charlotte?
courtjester5000: Let's not tangle ourselves up in a web of confusion.
riot1gurl: he he your funny
courtjester5000: Snake is an 8-bit cell phone graphics game.
riot1gurl: ohhh i know that game i play it on my cell all the tyme!!!
courtjester5000: Perfect.
riot1gurl: are you a robot?
courtjester5000: Now, I need you to cease all singing activities and spend that time playing Snake and improving your skills.
courtjester5000: This is the only way you will ever get into college.
courtjester5000: Which is already looking bleak at this point.
riot1gurl: no that will just make your brai turn in to tapeoka
riot1gurl: brain*
riot1gurl: are you a robot?
courtjester5000: No, singing will turn your brain into tapioca.
riot1gurl: no
courtjester5000: Yes, studies have confirmed this in numerous glee clubs at high schools all over Chad.
courtjester5000: Chad is an underdeveloped, 3rd-world nation in Africa.
courtjester5000: When they sing it sounds like an upper middle-class American eating tapioca pudding with a spork.
riot1gurl: ARE YOU A ROBOT?
courtjester5000: What is your favorite African country?
riot1gurl: i dont know any afrikan country
riot1gurl: ARE YOU A ROBOT?????????????????????????????????
courtjester5000: Who is your favorite African-American?
courtjester5000: Avoiding this question could cost you serious PC points.
riot1gurl: huh?
riot1gurl: ARE YOU A ROBOT????
courtjester5000: Yes.
riot1gurl: cool
courtjester5000: Who is your favorite African-American?
riot1gurl: wilma rudolf
riot1gurl: whats it to you?
courtjester5000: I'll provide the attitude around here.
courtjester5000: Tell me your favorite inspirational moment in Wilma Rudolf history?
riot1gurl: running
courtjester5000: Did she inspire you to become black?
riot1gurl: no
courtjester5000: So I don't get it...
riot1gurl: ...racist
courtjester5000: Oh, I see, she inspired you to become a professional runner.
riot1gurl: no
courtjester5000: What do you race then?
riot1gurl: i dont race
courtjester5000: Then how can you call yourself a racist?
riot1gurl: i am calling you a raceist
courtjester5000: But Wilma Rudolf didn't inspire me to do anything.
riot1gurl: i like neopets
courtjester5000: I like BET.
courtjester5000: Maybe I do have a little Wilma Rudolf in me.
riot1gurl: me too but i like neopets better
courtjester5000: Would you pick the red pill or the blue pill?
riot1gurl: no pill
courtjester5000: Don't get pregnant then.
courtjester5000: Remember, no glove, no love.
riot1gurl: i dont get it
courtjester5000: Sex isn't a joke.
riot1gurl: i thought that sex was birds and bees
courtjester5000: It is.
courtjester5000: Just watch out for the wasps in life.
courtjester5000: They'll sting you over and over and over.
courtjester5000: With no regrets.
riot1gurl: what wasps?
riot1gurl: !!!
courtjester5000: Bzzzz.
riot1gurl: huh?
courtjester5000: Bzzzzzz.
riot1gurl: huh?
courtjester5000: Bzzzzzzzz.
riot1gurl: i dont get it'
courtjester5000: Bzzzzzz.
riot1gurl: huh?
courtjester5000: Bzzzzzzoffseriously.

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