This Fidget Spinner is Done With You Calling It a Fad
"It’s just a trend," say the naysayers, "they’ll fade as fast as Pogs." Well let me tell you something you squashers of sunshine: I'm not a goddamn milk cap, I'm the milk.
Tag: Tech
I’m Sorry I Blocked You On Facebook But I’d Like to Continue Sleeping Together
I don't see why we can’t continue to to do sex even though I’ve terminated our Facebook friendship. After all, it’s called "friends with benefits," not "Facebook friends with benefits."
Help! I’m Trying to Find a Dubstep Version of the Musical “Wicked,” But Every Time I Google “Wicked Dubstep” I Just Get Really Badass Dubstep
Dear Broadway.com, sorry to bother you, but I’ve got a serious problem. Every time I Google the phrase “Wicked dubstep” I just get a bunch of awesome dubstep songs.
6 Venmo Requests to Send a Guy After a First Date
Amount: $40 Message: "Marketing fees associated with me blogging about this date." Rationale: He’s a weirdo, and weirdos need to be blogged about.
The Internet is a Dangerous Place Full of People More Talented Than You
Lurking behind every YouTube thumbnail is a well-camouflaged bear trap, waiting to violently snap shut on your already fragile sense of self-worth.
Tinder Feature Request: Emergency Unswipe-Right for Cousins
I’m sitting at work, swiping right like I have a muscle spasm and three women have gone by when I begin to ask myself, was that Megan?
Selected Reviews from the 9 Worst Yelp-Reviewed Sperm Banks
My tuxedo-clad sperm steward Rene greeted me in French and explained, “All of our top grade sperme de France is aged to perfection."
If I Spend 3-4 Hours Writing and Editing This Article, Do You Think She Will Have Texted Me Back By Then?
What Michelle needs to realize is that I’m not here to waste my time. But until she texts back, that's exactly what I'll be doing.
A Quick Reminder that Donald Trump’s Twitter is Amazingly Cringeworthy
Five tweets from Donald J. Trump that will satiate your internal yearning for coma-inducing cringe, or else shut down your computer.
Just Because I’m a Hot Girl with Huge Boobs Doesn’t Mean You Can’t Be My 38th Facebook Friend
Why does a beautiful girl like me only have 37 friends? Because I'm selective, that's why. Just click "confirm" already.
The Six Stages of Life According to the AARP Mail You’re Currently Receiving
Whatever fancy stuff you’ve been told about the progression of aging, is in reality too complicated. The real lies in your AARP mail.
The Pros and Cons of Each Generation from 1900-2200
Every generation has their ups and downs, but each possess some rather noteworthy attributes all their own.