It’s Important That Teachers Come Together and Cyberbully Trevor, Who Has Always Been an Asshole
Or the time that he got the whole school to chant "Mr. O’Brien is a virgin" when I was doing announcements during the assembly?
Tag: Teachers
I’m Your Brain, and You Can’t Sleep Until We Analyze That Time You Accidentally Called Your Teacher “Mom”
She laughed, but do you think maybe deep inside she thought you were an idiot? Nah... Probably not. Anyway, no reason to hash it out at 2:32 AM!
In Which the Great Philosophers Discuss the Matter of Godzilla
"There is but one truly serious philosophical problem, and that is Godzilla." –Albert Camus / "I came. I saw Godzilla. I ran away." –Julius Caesar
Cancelling Teddy Roosevelt’s Elementary School Gym Class
It's just that you've brought too much of that raw, "I survived a war where they still used horses" spirit to your position here.
We Need to Discuss Your Son’s Science Fair Project, “Why Do Mommy and Daddy Use Bad Words?”
If, as his poster suggests, your child is exposed to profanity like “dysentery sh*tstream” and “apocalyptic f*ck-tato,” we need to problem-solve.
Narwhal Tusk Basic Training
You’re holding in your hands as sophisticated an anti-terrorist device as God in his worshipful workshop has ever devised!
Our Inspiring Professor, the Duolingo Owl
I could tell he wasn’t like our past professors. There was a glimmer in his eye, a look that seemed to say: “I have had adventures with horses.”
Desk Decorations at Your Local State University
Single-frame comic mocking PowerPoints in attempt to dissuade their use by students, displayed above desk at which you design your daily PowerPoint.
Hire Me, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, As Your University’s Next Creative Writing Professor
Gimme a classroom full of second-string lacrosse players who are thirsty for validation---this mama’s fixin’ to teach creative writing!
The Most Heartwarming Stories of Late Capitalism This Week
When a teen in New Mexico had trouble concentrating in class due to hunger, her teachers managed to buy her six months’ worth of Adderall! Wow!
Hi! I’m Calling About Your Student Loan Payments, You Fucking Deadbeat Loser!
Are able to pay today? No? That seems crazy to us, because money falls out of the sky and everybody wins the lottery at least twice a year.
If You Turn Into a Werewolf During a Parent-Teacher Conference
If you cannot make it home to your reinforced "Doom Room", attempt to run toward the nearest forest or wooded area.