An Important Message from Your University President, Who Is Shocked That What Everyone Said Would Happen Is Happening
For starters, many of you have been attending parties. We told you not to do that! We thought you’d listen to us.
Tag: Teachers
Plunderstone Capital Is Thrilled to Have Purchased Your Local High School
My role is basically the same as that of a principal except I don’t know how to run a school and I own 15% of its graduates’ earnings in perpetuity.
My Name Is, Uh, Señor Greenwood, and I’ll Be Your Substitute Teacher Today
Now, I should say that I don’t speak Spanish, but I do speak un poquito Spanish. Is that bueno with everyone?
Choose Your Own University-Approved Pandemic Teaching Option
You must create a class that can be started online, moved to in-person, then back online, all simultaneously. You have the weekend to figure it out.
3rd Grade Virtual Learning Schedule: Week 3, Day 4
Watch “Multiplication, Division, and YOU!” There is no link, so you, a third-grader, will need to do a Google video search and hope for the best.
Giving Writing Workshop Feedback in Non-Workshop Environments
AT A PASTRY SHOP: “While I do appreciate this lemon meringue pie—it’s very sweet, which is fun for a dessert if that’s what you’re going for."
Yes, The School Is Inside an Active Volcano, But We Need to Send the Children Back In
What could be more healthy than taking a spelling test while boulders—such as the one that just flattened Senator Constantine—fall from the sky?
How to Apologize for Your Racist Dog
How many of you have dogs who display selective aggression towards people of races other than your own? Everyone again. Frustrating, isn’t it?
Introduction to Describing Your Dreams to Someone Who Obviously Doesn’t Care
Blathering on about one’s own dream is one of life’s greatest pleasures, a kind of psychological masturbation that satisfies our basest desire.
We Are Time-Traveling High School Students with an Urgent Plea: Stop Making History
We're only a few weeks into our "Modern World: January to December 2020" AP course and holy shit is it kicking our asses.
Introduction to Disguising a Fart in Public
Redirect the Attention. Infiltrate the Distraction. And Proceed as if Nothing Has Happened. Together, they form a useful pneumonic: RIP.
I’m a High School Science Teacher, and I Pray Every Time I Set Up the Bowling Ball Pendulum
The basis upon which I have lived my entire life is jeopardized—and all because of a trust fall with the ghost of Sir Isaac Newton.