Satire | Page 92 | Points in Case

Tag: Satire

Eaten an Oreo without twisting it open and gnawing out the cream; just bit right into that motherfucker.

Honestly, I don’t know what I’m more excited for: a new Transformers movie or this brand new swimming pool I’m having put in my backyard.

Wait, no, maybe it was his wife who killed his business partner? I don’t know-- someone died, is the gist of it.

There wasn’t a single awkward pause, which is rare because I get anxious when I talk to a search engine I want to optimize.

“Merci,” I respond. “Incroyable,” the driver says, slowly taking off his sunglasses, “You really know your stuff.”

Time off task (12 minutes): Nerve sensors detected hunger prior to your lunch break. Hunger is personal time.

Now sharks will watch humans eat and breed in real-time. I could easily watch a whole week of this in slickly packaged, one-hour chunks.

Immediately reschedule the client-by-client reviews; I like him so much I’m gonna throw up.

Covering every inch of skin our body in Flamin' Hot® Cheeto dust, or wearing big red bows and humming like a Chrysler on a snowy road.

We cast Keri Russell as your girlfriend, a fact that you didn't notice as you "haven’t had a TV since they stopped carrying The Weather Channel."

I will not condemn this man to death until this jury promises to come see my band this weekend.

As a child, I looked up at those billboards and marveled at their power. Could you just choose a nickname?